Monday, March 12, 2012

Vacation---an Epically Long Telling

Vacation started out with a bummer--we were on a little something I like to call "Shane-Time." Meaning we rely on Shane to pull through--on time--with a small task; and it takes three times as long as it would take anyone else. So vacation started a day late and I was cranky about it.  I had to make phone calls and let everyone know we would be a day late.

So on Monday we packed up the Jeep because Jon seemed to think there wouldn't be enough room for all our stuff and both dogs in the car; I really don't understand this, but Jon does seem to travel a bit heavy.  I can do with  two pairs of pants and an equal number of shirts and underthings (the parents DO have a washing machine and a dryer and I know how to use these luxuries).  He borrowed a small tv from his mother, and packed his off-brand Nintendo and his cartridges, some borrowed DVDs, and the laptop.  Good, I guess, since he tends to easily become bored at my parents house because they lack the use of a television beyond VCR and DVD needs and they are technologically impaired by their stubborn refusal to learn to use a computer so they don't own one of those either.  I, and others, have offered (past and present) to teach them to no avail.

I packed the dogs, their food, lots of chew bones, dog treats, toiletries, phones with a charger, ipod with charger (4-5 hours is a long time with only the craptastic stylings of FM or AM radio and I abhor being at the mercy of station owners), the GPS (just in case), and my few clothes, Jon's lots of extra socks, and his clothes...and, finally, after writing out feeding instructions for kitties, fish, and the bunny (easiest of all!) we were off!

Emma did great in the car the first half an hour or so; realized we weren't going to see Sadie and Ruth for the usual playdate, then hyperventilated on and off the entire time.  Needless to say; she didn't have to pee much.  Doggles, in his usual laid-back style, curled up into a ball, had a nap, and at times, watched the landscape.  Doggles did have to pee.  And so did I.

I became happier once the horrid boring flatness started to roll into hills, then the hills became larger hills with deeper valleys and, windy roads, gravel roads, and YAY HOME!!!

Emma met Bean, my parents dog with much apprehension and snipped at him a couple times on the leash.  Once she decided he didn't give a jot whether she was there or not and she got to sniff him on her own terms she loved him. 

She met my dad with her usual BARK BARK BARK as he came out of the basement (in Emma's mind the basement seems to be an unsecured entrance where strangers pop out of intermittently, STRANGER DANGER!) but once Doggles and I got much attention from my Dad she decided she was jealous and allowed him to pet her.  She alternately was shy of my Dad and loved him. It depended on whether, oddly enough, he was wearing a coat, a coat AND a hat or neither.  Odd dog.

Emma met my mom the next morning with similar results (Mom works from 1:30 pm until about 1:30 am; at least for now, they've threatened with lots of layoffs again this year and she's one of the lowest on the list).  But, all in all, she decided they were okay people.

Doggles excitedly jumped to and fro and demanded all his friends pay him his much deserved attention.  He is a little Napoleon.

The dogs enjoyed lots of off-leash walkies.

Jon and I drove to the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium on a beautiful sunny 60ish day.  There were regrettably a lot of rug rats but otherwise it was an enjoyable day.  I have problems with people who believe that it is more important for their offspring to ogle the animals than it is for anyone else even though we've all paid the ticket price.

Jon and I were both jealous of the "Special People" who somehow got to go in with the elephants and the rhinos and feed them cookies...how did you get to do that? How much did that cost? And, most importantly, I WANT TO FEED A RHINO A COOKIE!!!!

And, EXCITEMENT!!!! Dad, Emma, Doggles, Bean, and I went for a walk. Emma, snagged her ear on a barb-wire fence and was covered in blood.  Stopping the bleeding was difficult. I assume she snagged the ear near a vein.  Didn't seem to cause her much pain and was more bewildered that I was trying to keep her from shaking her head and spattering it all over. As it was, we cleaned scads of blood off the aluminum siding, the screen door and the porch. 

Jon was sent to the store for styptic powder. I was hopelessly sticky with blood, sitting outside, barefoot and wet (it was raining) with a wet, bleeding dog while my dad was trying to think of ways to help.  Then Jon calls from the store and says something is wrong with the Jeep (oh, joy)  in his good-natured willingness to help he had mistakenly thought that it would help to put the Jeep in four wheel drive then drive on the wet road.  Jon had left his phone so if he got stranded wouldn't have a way to let us know.

So my dad had to drive to town to make sure Jon made it back.  Basically whatever is wrong involves the four wheel drive gear box or something. Always these things seem to happen near a weekend and repair shops are not weekend friendly. So, we didn't get it fixed and drove all over Ohio and back to Michigan. Made it just fine. Does need looking after, though. Dad seemed to think the gear boxes may be out of lubricant...he had a similar problem with his old 1979 Bronco. Don't know.

Stopped the bleeding--until the next day when Miss Emma Squirms a Lot decided she needed to roll around like a goofball on the carpet (my parents have brand new carpet and freshly painted walls) shake her head and bleed some more.  So we attached a bit of paper towel to her wound (lol its still there) and tied her out at the dog box. She was NOT impressed. And Jon sat out there with her for a long time to quiet her barking.

I got to scrub blood out of carpet with carpet cleaner (thankfully my parents had bought stain-resistant carpet) and off of the walls (Windex is remarkably up to the job).  The only other thing she managed to bleed on was a quilt that my Grandmother made and mom has assured me that it washed out (oh, I thought I was going to be in trouble...but why my mom put such a fine thing on the bed when she knew me and my messiness was on its way home, I will never know). 

We ate lots of Killbuck Pizza. Well, I ate just the toppings. Bean was well spoiled with crust.  We ate tasty Mexican food in Coshocton. Went to a thrift store in Millersburg where I bought a pair of $4 jeans. We bought three bottles of Blackberry wine from Breitenbach in Sugarcreek (where I decided I really do hate tourists, even though I suppose I am technically now one of them...but I guess I'm not really a tourist. I know the back roads, I knew which wine I wanted and we got out of that horribly crowded winery in less than five minutes).  We went to the Antique Mall in New Philadelphia, to a cheese house in Charm, laughed at an Amish man talking on a cell phone while driving a pony hitched to a sulky and dragging a huge tractor tire down the road.  Yes, weird. Yes, wildly local to that area and still hilarious. 

Visited old co-workers who are still some of my most awesome friends. How I love you, Kate.  I suspect you will never know just how much. Offering your car when Jon thought his went to shit was beyond the call of duty.  Glad I got to see you.  And Gregg...you look awesome considering the last time I was home you'd had quadruple bypass surgery and I was told you had cancer.  You are still my favorite receiver ever...you big, earring wearing Harley driving teddy bear!

Dad did force me to visit my only surviving grandparent on the grounds that Dad suspects he won't last long. But he didn't make me stay long. The old house, while far far far from clean, looked lots cleaner than I remember. Oh, well, you can't chose your family. Wish I could have liked you Grandpa, but I never have.  I was absolutely stunned to hear that you had wanted to see me when I was home for Christmas. Stunned.  You've never shown much interest in me since I've never offered to let you use me for your own ends like you do so many of the others. I saw through all that shit when I was a fairly small child.  I don't hate you. I just never liked you or what you stood for.

We had lunch with my brother and Katie, who had some news that she was being tested for preclampsia and would have to pee in a bottle all day at work and have it refrigerated.  I think she finds out the results tomorrow. She definitely didn't look good.  Her feet were swollen as wide as they are long and her face is quite puffy.  Hope all is well.

Saw my aunt Nita and Uncle Jimmy briefly.

Caught up on all the local gossip.

Breathed fresh air.

Saw total darkness.

Heard almost perfect silence.

Saw my first honeybee of the year on my mom's crocuses.

Had fun, spent too much money, and still feel it was well worth it.

And now, back to work.  On the upside, I can see my Michigan friends. 










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