September

What a weird September.

At work:

A friend of mine who is professionally competent and beloved of his underlings gets a crappy review and is asked to step down and be just a regular Joe Schmo. He is fine with this until he is told he is going to get a pay cut of anywhere from $2 to $3.  Come again?  Did I mention how much the customers love this guy?  No?  Well, he is constantly getting positive email from customers who know him by sight and by name.  Why the demotion?  He isn't a horrible boss and has never written up anyone.  Why hasn't he? He doesn't need to write anyone up.  We just naturally have his back and do as he asks, because he's a good guy.

Then, he decides he'll step down.  After his decision is made, THEN he is told "well, we don't have room on the payroll for this many full time employees."  What? Gee, witholding valuable information from the employee making the decision...that sounds ethical.

Also, for a company who prides itself on ethics...why hire in a full time employee in a management position all the while knowing there was no money in payroll for such a thing?  Because the puppet master knew he was going to demote someone and ask them to leave.

The puppet master is also leaving. I don't care anymore. I thought I would, but now, seeing exactly how sneaking, manipulative and UNETHICAL he can be, I don't give a flying fuck.  I wish I could prove to HR just how unethical this entire situation really is...why can't I?  Because I'm not supposed to know any of it or my job would be in jeopardy. 

Why so secretive?  Because for a company who prides itself on its ethics, there are none.  Wouldn't it be awful for all the people who love to shop at the store to find out how ruthless, unethical, and Nazi-like the corporation really is? 

Maybe I'll get a less greedy, sneaking manager. I've had two of those before.  Or maybe I just need to go back to the nowhere of America where people aren't just out to see if they can go back to "fix" an old store for an $100,000 a year pay raise.

Guess what my raise, by the way, I was lucky to get a raise-- was?  29 cents an hour.  I will almost earn $9.25 an hour.

What the hell is your annual salary oh Puppet Master? 

And then.....

A friend of mine had a barn burn down.  He has burns on his hands and face from trying to rescue horses from the barn.  One didn't make it.  His house almost caught on fire.  He is apparently off (on vacation!) this week but is expected to miss another week of work so the burns can heal. 

Jon was so sickened to hear this that he immediately went into rescue mode.  He put his prized Fender up for sale so we could donate the proceeds to our friend.  As far as I was concerned, he'd never want to sell that thing.

My cousin's man, Denny, wants it.  I have given them Jon's phone number in case he can think of any questions to ask because there are a multitude of things I don't know about guitars.  I really don't want buyer's remorse to be in my family life.  There are lots of things about this, money transfer (we're thinking pay pal) and then shipping. We live in Michigan, they live in southern Ohio...as Southern as you can get, Cincinnati.  We'll ship it if they'd like, but I also offered to drive it to my parent's house (also a 5 hour drive for someone from Cincinnati)  if they'd like. 

We'll see. I'd like to help Tim.  He has always been good to me.

And also....

Jon has not been dealing with his grandmother's death at all, I don't think. He says he's fine. I still don't think he's fine.  He's been going off the deep end about not being able to do enough to help Tim, and about how horrible things are happening to such good people.  I wish I could help him.  Death and I are well-acquainted.  But everyone has to come to their own terms with death.

This is the first death of someone who was close to Jon.

I don't know how this will go.

Four years ago I couldn't walk past the open casket of my dad's mother and the stupid undertakers didn't like that I just couldn't and that I wouldn't.  I'd had to stare at her body for over an hour during the service and for some reason I just couldn't walk up there.  The undertakers looked disgruntled and I just burst into tears and Jon shuffled me outside and away.  Not that anyone in my family thought any the worse of me for it...I just couldn't follow the stupid funeral home protocol...so I broke their fascade of conformity.

There is no conformity in death. Each death is different, personal.  The ordered formal bits of the service did not comfort me nor did the prayers the preacher offered...they sounded hollow and empty...because nothing of them was my Grandmother.  She was not formal and she was not conformist.

So I don't know what Jon will take away from the ceremony.  I will never really know.  Just as he'll never know what I've taken from the funerals I've attended.

 Here's hoping for a much much better October.

Fairy Grandmother

A firecracker faded away yesterday.  An original Rosie the Riveter from Detroit. Not many of those left, I don't imagine.  One tough lady, an original character. I only knew her for four years, but she immediately welcomed me into her home and her family.

Jon told me later that this was not always so, and that he was surprised she liked me on sight.  That she usually didn't like any of the boyfriends/girlfriends/friends that anyone in the family brought home. But, she liked me. I was flattered.

She got cranky in the last year.  Can't blame her.  Thanksgiving last year wasn't very enjoyable. But, I really couldn't blame her, because she really didn't want to host.  The rest of the family seemed to think Thanksgiving just wouldn't be right if it wasn't at Grandma Helen's little house (and hey, I bet they were right).  It was just too much work for her.  She didn't do any of the cooking, but she sure ordered people to and fro if what they were doing weren't up to her standards.  The food was tasty.

Grandma Helen became my adopted Grandma. The one grandmother I was close to, died early in Jon and I's relationship.  I still had one living grandmother but it was one of those weird relationships that was strained since I never could figure out  why she'd put up with my grandfather (who was never an awesome person and was a mean, mean drunk once upon a time) so I could never really respect her.  So I adopted Grandma Helen.  Then my remaining grandmother died and she was the only grandma left.

I am now grandmotherless.  I know, I know, I am 35 and most people don't still have grandma's at my age, and some no longer have parents.  There is just something that always captured my imagination about Fairy Godmothers...something magical.  (I didn't know what a godmother was and didn't have one anyway so I imagined a godmother as a fairytale grandmother; besides -- Grandma DeWitt WAS a Fairy Grandmother...loved kids made all kinds of interesting magic happen when we were at her tiny trailer.)

So I was sad when Jon texted me from the hospital telling me she was gone.  Then, I told him I was sorry and that she was a force of nature, a tough lady.  And he texted back: "just like you."  Then I cried and asked if he was okay. He replied that he was, but I knew  better.

He's not okay.  No one in her family is okay today.  He wouldn't let me go with him to check on his folks. I didn't argue. I probably should have argued.  But, some people are really private in grief...and I can respect that.  I have no idea how my father in law is taking it, badly, I suspect.  The man is a mystery to me, but he has a big heart.  So if Jon thinks it best that I not go along, well, then, its his family he's known them longer than I have.

We miss you Grandma Helen.

I wish I had a photo of her from WWII doing her thing...and someone actually might...but, it can't be much different than this one.

Stranger Danger

Sometimes, as I watch Emma freak out when she sees the mail person walking up and down the opposite side of the street delivering mail, drool flying from her mouth as she barks, and, once the mail person changes to our side of the street and nears the house and Emma's agitation and fierceness increases to the point of her seeming to want to lunge outside; just what Emma would do if actually personally confronted with the mail person.

I think she would run away, and keep fiercely barking and drooling.

It's a fairly annoying bit of our daily routine. Nothing helps.

And, since, we live where we do, I guess I haven't looked seriously into preventing her from getting so worked up about strangers. I want people to be afraid to come into my house.

People who know Emma, know she is enormously afraid of people who are new. It took her weeks to get used to Levon, a month to get used to Dave, and she never has made up to Shane. I suspect because he usually refuses to come over and visit, and also because he makes lots of quick, loud movements that she views as threatening.

So, until she gets over her fear of strangers; which I figure as never, I'll just have to continue to see her foaming and spitting as she barks when strangers walk past the house.

And now for the lazy portion of our day

It's....a day off....well, kinda.

I mean, no random crazy assholes...but I've worked hard since I've been up. Well, until now. Now, I'm relaxing.

First, I went to the bunny room.  I cleaned the bunny litter, and since Vincent has discovered a new hobby/compulsion, decided to start taking up the carpet in there.  His new compulsion involves digging at random bits of carpet and rendering them bald, and also chewing on any raw edges he makes.  This was pretty simple,  at least it is so far.  I just pried up the tack strips on two sides of the room (it's a tiny room) and pulled out any staples/nails with the pliers. Granted, I haven't gotten all the way around, and I haven't rolled up much carpet, but its a start.

Jon wasn't amused with this new development until I told him the carpet was ruined anyway. He then offered to help, and get it done with, but its something I can work on in the mornings sometimes before work and on days I'm off and Jon is working. It shouldn't take too long.

I do need to put some foam in the gaps where the carpet tucks under the baseboards and then seal them with silicone so that things don't end up  where I don't want them and I can sweep up bunny messes easily with a broom. Such as random poo pellets and bits of hay and litter.

I did a load of the never-ending laundry. I swear I think it breeds while I am asleep.

I mowed our lawn.

I mowed the in-laws lawn.

And now I am relaxing because I am tired from all those things.

I still need to wash dishes and vacuum but am fairly certain I will do neither of those things today.

Then I am off Tuesday and will go on the prowl with Ruth. That sounds more fun.

I am also contemplating just kidnapping Ruth and James and going on some sort of short road trip to....my parent's house....or anywhere, for that matter. Sounds fun.

Zip Trip

Sunday we left on a virtually unplanned trip to see my parents. By unplanned, I mean we decided at 9 am and by noon we were on our way.  We went a different route, avoiding the Ohio Turnpike altogether and also the city of Norwalk...on a route that wasn't as speedy but more entertaining. The town of Clyde was visually interesting. They have an actual diner car there and an ice cream parlor shaped like a soft serve cone.  So if anyone is heading toward Norwalk from Toledo, I'd recommend US 20 East.  Its a bit slower, but there are more farms, more interesting things, and once the construction clears up, it will be two lanes headed East, two lanes headed West. 

                I couldn't find a better photo.  The diner actually looks more 30s than it does here.
                Guess I should have made Jon pull over so I could whip out my camera.

                                                                        Yum!
                      
We didn't do much in Ohio since we only had time to stay the night then drive back.  We did manage to eat at the Mexican place we love.  The pizza place was closed because the town of Killbuck was having the annual Early American Days festival, which strikes me as odd. I think they'd do a grand amount of business during a festival, but maybe I'm wrong.
                                                    

                                                                   More Yum!

I scratched and made over my old pal Bean.  The dogs romped outside and went on a walk. Emma found a spine of a dead thing and decided it made for an awesome object to roll on top of and carry about.  She didn't get too stinky, so I assume it had been dead a long, long time.  Emma also wasn't shy of my parents this visit. No barking at them when she first sighted them.

My dad waited until my mom hit the showers after a very muggy walk to tell me that she'd had another episode where her heart decides to pitter patter along at 200 beats per minute and that the pill they'd given her for such an occurrence didn't do its job so they ended a walk last Friday in the emergency room.  Mom didn't want anyone to know.  But my Aunt Maxine had been staying there for a visit, so she knew.  And NO ONE told me.  I mean, I know my mom has been off work for quite a while because she has had both her hands operated on because of carpal tunnel, so I guess it would have been difficult for dad to call without her knowledge, but still.

So now I know why all the weird, mixed up dreams/ nightmares about home last Friday night.

My mom has finally agreed to see a specialist, dad says. I told him to make sure to call me if anything happens, because I know I can get some kind of paid leave for a family emergency.  He said he would. 

We had a nice lunch yesterday. My dad cooked hamburgers on the grill and we ate sweet corn, tomatoes, and all kinds of good garden food.  My dad's garden, he says, has done the worst ever this year. Not too surprising because of all the 100 degree temperatures and the scant amount of rain.  So they've been wanting to can tomatoes and having problems with rot, and in general even getting enough tomatoes to can.

Then we were on our way back home.  Traffic was crap, but then, that's what we get for picking a national holiday to travel. Gas was 20 cents cheaper in all those tiny little Ohio towns.  I guess Michigan is just price gouging.  Usually the little places charge more. We did travel on the Turnpike on the way back. Didn't know which way would be better with the holiday traffic. And we went through Norwalk, OH, which is a pretty cool town, actually. So if anyone happens to be traveling on US 250 heading west you will see this:

                                The buildings in Norwalk are amazing and old.

And that leaves us with planning our next trip.  We are thinking of traveling to Jon's Family's cabin in the U.P. somewhere the first week in October. He doesn't have any vacation coming, but we'll see what his boss says.  Sounds fun if we can manage it, though.