Sunday, August 23, 2015

I Deeply Regret

Moving to the asshole capital of the world, Michigan.

Not somehow managing to die naturally so no body can blame me for giving up the fight for this useless life I never asked to live. It's absolutely pointless.

Being born in the first place.

I hope people think about the likelihood that that baby they are so desperately trying for no reason at all to bring into the world probably won't want to be in the world anyway.



Sunday, August 9, 2015

Platinum to Red in a Weekend

This weekend I undertook going from platinum to being a ginger.  My hair was just getting too nasty from the bleach and I felt it was time for a change since work got on my ass and decided I needed to be in the "natural color spectrum" and the main reason for me going platinum was so that I could dye it crazy colors.

 This is me, blonde:




I quite liked the platinum blonde.  Upkeep was a bitch, as my hair is tenacious. Every week sometimes, I'd notice quarter inch roots. Sometimes, I got away with every two weeks, and sometimes, three, but by the third week it looked pretty damn awful.

The first dye I used was Loreal Excellence Creme in 8 RB Reddish Blonde.  I think it cost around $8.
I mixed it with Colorful Protein Treatment in #10 Red Red to try and let the color have somewhere to grab, and also, because ginger plus white is going to be lighter than the box result since color is cumulative and my hair was so very pale. Plus, my natural color (should it ever be seen again) is medium brown. To get from platinum to brown, yellow, red and blue tones must be introduced. Basically to replace all the tones I stripped from my hair to get to platinum...color is bleaching in reverse. The protein filler cost around $5 at Sally Beauty.


I liked the result, under inside artificial light:

 Unfortunately, outside, it looked worse than this last photo which was Super Ginger. It was barf orangey peach. Not at all attractive. At least not on me.  Plus would be a no no at work considering it was not really a color I've ever seen in nature.
I had bought two boxes of it, so I even tried a second dye job thinking perhaps the pigment just didn't properly stick to my hair after two years of bleach. Uh, no. It did not work.

So, luckily for me, after MUCH internet research before I even started, I had bought three OTHER shades of red in varying tones.  Since my hair was so peachy, I selected Ion Color Brilliance Light Burgundy Blonde.
Thinking that because burgundy is a blue based tone, and blue is the OPPOSITE of orange on the color wheel, it should cancel out the orange. (That's basically what toner does to get to platinum, too. Purple/blue tones create that ice blond if it came out too yellow/orange.)


While this is NOT a box kit, it IS simple to use. You mix the tube of color with 10 vol developer. I had 20 vol, but if you water it down by half, you get 10 vol. Simple math even I can do! And basically follow the instructions depending on what result is needed. I was going DARKER so the instructions told me to leave in on for 25 minutes. I didn't like the super perfumey smell of it, but hey, the results are what are important, right?  The box I bought was a creme, not the liquid in this photo. I prefer creme colors as they are less drippy, but to each their own. Same color, different format.  The box plus the developer probably cost about $10. So STILL super inexpensive.

Again, color is CUMULATIVE. So I was going from about a level 10 blonde to a level 8 red, thinking I can always easily go DARKER. As someone who draws, its always much simpler to go darker gradually than to go too dark and try to correct that. Dye works exactly like that.  Then from the level 8 yucky peach result, I went bluer, and down to a level 6 red. Got that?

Home hair dye is not for the faint of heart. If you have any doubt, go to a salon.


Result of light burgundy blonde:


This first one was in the bathroom light. Super Red. Love it, though. 

 Since the outside lighting test was so yucky with the other dye, I went outside to test this result. Yep, still love it.
 A color found in nature!
Pictures are probably a bit scary. I had showered twice in the last hour and a half, was not really amused, and am definitely NOT wearing makeup. Which I rarely do, but I like the look of, like in the blonde photo, above.

And because I LOVED my mad purple hair:
Someday, when I am otherwise employed, I will meet this hair again :)

Saturday, August 1, 2015

This Summer in a Flash

It's been a while since my last post.  Time goes by so quickly in the summer, especially. Winter just crawwwlllsss by, but summer, gone in a flash.

My elderly cat breathed her last, sadly.  I still expect to see her every morning and every night when I come home from work and its been a bit over a month now, I think. That was not a pleasant day. 

                                                     My beloved Moose. She was 18.

I managed to get the rest of the blue carpet up and the wood floor underneath was beautiful.  Also discovered there is wood floor beneath the white yucky bedroom shag.  A project for later.

Adventures this summer have been close to home as finances are tight. The mortgage went up, income went down, the typical bullshit.

Jon and I went to Belle Isle with our friend Ruth and her family. It was really rainy and cool but they got to see the Scott Fountain running, at least for a bit, it was turned off as we looked at it because it was just damn windy that day.  We toured the Aquarium and the Conservatory, laughed at some poor yay hoos whose wedding was going to be incredibly wet.  Then Joe went fishing while the rest of us went inside the Maritime Museum which is really really neat and that we need to visit earlier in the day so we can see the rest of it. We walked in shortly before the museum closed  We also toured the Nature Zoo with its turtles.  A good place to go.


                                           Captain James at the Dossin Great Lakes Museum

                                                       Lighthouse Lens

                                                    Joe and James at the Aquarium


                                                      Joe and James at the Conservatory

My birthday happened. Jon got me some pretty flowers, some nice booze, and my parents in law got me a new wallet.  We also drove to see my parents for a short, short weekend visit.





A few weeks later, Ann Arbor had its annual Art Fair.  Off we went again.  All but Jon who, unfortunately, had to work.  It was abominably hot, but always interesting.  We popped into the Museum of Natural History while we were there to cool off and because there was a storm brewing. It was much much cooler after the storm passed.  Didn't take many photos. But we were all drenched in sweat anyway.  Ruth bribed James. But he looks quite resentful that he had to have a photo taken. 



                                                   Bad cell phone photo. But pretty museum.

Jon's parents became boat owners.  So one weekend we went out to the lake so Jon could be taught all about boats in case we wanted to borrow it.  Kensington is always pretty.  However, my father in law is a lame teacher and Jon got frustrated.  I sat relaxing on shore while they ran aground, and my father in law fell out of the boat and they took on a bit of water.


At work, a T Rex made a meal of a small unfortunate dinosaur in the supplement aisle.


Jon's birthday happened.  I went birthday shopping for him with my friend Jen. Spotted an unusual product.  And got him some Legos. Jen and I sword fought with foam swords but mine broke and she won.



Today, Jon and I went back to Belle Isle. The island was CROWDED as it was a lovely day with low humidity.  We took the opportunity to venture toward the lighthouse, apparently the only marble lighthouse in the country, that we somehow always missed.


                                          Bridge that connects Detroit to Belle Isle

                                               

                                                 The lighthouse is VERY art deco, I LOVE it!



                                       Nice walk, hidden swimming holes, ect.
              
I should probably have taken my real camera as I am always disappointed at how my cell phone camera takes photos. But, then, I have to carry it around.  Sigh.

Friday, June 12, 2015

I wish this wasn't happening

Not exactly sure what in my mental state has changed. But, it has changed and for the worse.  I just can not get myself together no matter how hard I try.

Waking up filled with dread about going to work.

Dreading driving places at certain times of day to the point of panic.

And more than the usual anxiety about being in public places.

I can be fine one moment and terrified and uber depressed the next.

I have no idea.

I had an issue a few weeks ago where I wasn't sleeping and then I had a major breakdown and depression.  My husband has actually been super awesome about all this.  Definitely not enjoying any of this.  Can't seem to shake the depression.

I haven't had this kind of thing happen to me to this degree in about 15 years.

 I also had my blood sugar suddenly drop while at work this morning. Sudden dizziness, and broke out in a heavy sweat. My legs were even sweating. Oddly, I had just eaten.  Didn't last long.  This is one of the reasons I no longer give blood. This would happen after I gave blood to such a degree it would get me off kilter for a week. I am prone to anemia but really don't think I'm suffering from it at the moment. Hard to know.  Freaked me out for sure. Wasn't sure I was going to be able to drive home. But it cleared up and then I felt okay.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day 2015

This was a three day weekend for me, because I'm lucky and my employer is cheap and doesn't want to pay me time and a half to work a holiday.

Not too much happened.  I broke my insomniac streak of three days on about seven hours sleep which is pretty miserable and if I had a choice, I'd rather not do anything of the sort again. But, I don't have a choice and this type of thing has happened to me on and off throughout my life.

Jon and I drove around yesterday, went to thrift stores, an antique store, and had yummy Indian food at our favorite place as I laughed at stupid things because I was slap happy from actually having slept, but had not yet slept enough.  Then we had slurpees, watched some Netflix and off to bed.

Today, Jon has been over at his parent's garage working on his Jeep all day. I have been ripping up the blue carpet Doggles chewed on and peed on as a puppy. My now geriatric cat also occasionally has accidents on the carpet and since she seems to have a bit of dementia and sometimes doesn't seem to realize where she is, the carpet smells not so fresh, let's say.  Anyone who has tried to rid something of a cat pee smell will sympathize. If you can find the spot, vinegar helps immensely.  However, carpet with padding, ect, seems to hold it all in.

I've ripped up and removed staples and tack strips from about one third of the entire area. I'm exhausted.  Our house is small, but this is two rooms plus the hallway worth of carpet. So most of the carpet in the house.

Luckily, there is a brilliantly lovely hardwood floor underneath. No idea why the idiots who previously owned the house felt the need to hide it with carpet, but the wood actually brightens and warms the house up visually.


This is how I started out. Yes, those are my toes.  I am working in strips, obviously because the whole thing would weigh a ton and be hard to maneuver.  I always forget how dirty floors are underneath carpeting.  Just about a pound of dust, disintegrating carpet pad and other oddities like dead bugs, bits of pet food, pine needles that worked their way under the edges.




And this is where I ended for the day. The entire dining area done.  We actually are using it as an extension of the living room as the living room really isn't large enough to have more than a couple seating areas.  Which usually isn't a problem as it's just Jon and I. But, if we do have people over, they had nowhere to sit.


I figure about two more long days of it and I'd be done. However, I do have to work all this week and don't know how much will get done before the weekend. Can't just stop mid yank because the staples are sharp and would probably cut one of us or our pets. Not fond of that. I'm sure I'll cut myself on a missed staple before its over.

Be really awesome to invite people over for a carpet pulling party but they wouldn't have a lot of fun. I'd gladly provide booze and snacks but people have busy lives and I suppose I was in need of a project anyway. I tend to mope around all winter. Something to do with the yucky gray skies and the cold and the yucky snow.  I feel much better with warm temperatures and sunshine. Even if it rains, I feel better.

I made potato soup since that's what we had and payday isn't until next week.  Yay, stretching things.  I'd really like to be in a place in my life where I didn't have to stretch out every bit of food, plan it out, and then get tired of eating the only food in the house. I guess that would mean I was rich.  Until then, I know I'm privileged compared to some people but it doesn't make it any easier.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Ain't Nobody's Business

I haven't posted in an age. It's due to laziness and nice weather.

Had a lovely Saturday last weekend at the Toledo Zoo. My brother, his family, and my friends and I all met there. I never get to see my little brother anymore these days and it was so nice that this fit into all our schedules.

Jon's one day a week off work week is lame.  We are both feeling it.  We either cram all activities fun and otherwise into one day or we don't and lots of stuff seems to keep sliding to the next week.

Work life is lame life. Everyone seems to be jumping ship like rats on a drowning vessel.  I have also applied a couple places. Here's to hoping I find a place to pay me what I'm worth and that I like the job better than the shitty one I currently find myself needing.

And, otherwise, pretty much this:
Bessie Smith

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Coughing

I haven't written or done much in a long time.

A simple explanation of the past couple weeks is that I have had a demon virus and have spent the time doing the following:

Sleeping
Having an extremely high fever
Sleeping
Going to work
Coughing so hard I pee myself sporadically
Coughing so hard I vomit
Coughing up bright green goo
Coughing
More coughing
Lost my voice

I am finally feeling better. Still get tired easily. Still am coughing.  I have managed to almost sleep ALL night the past two nights without wild coughing fits that go on for thirty to forty minutes.

Jon has not been infected. Oddly.

He is pretty certain I have had bronchitis.  I am just glad the doctor's visit I saw looming at the beginning of the week is definitely not happening. I was pretty sure he was just going to kidnap my unhappy ass and drag me there.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Day Before Easter 2015


WEEK ONE OF PRAVANA HAIR DYE:

Not a lot of fading. Two shampoos.  Two total soakings in rainwater due to my job and being soaked to the skin despite wearing a raincoat while unloading trucks.  Lots of compliments.  Yeah, some of the people were my friends. One was a random three year old asking her mom questions about why my hair was purple (and her mom said she loved it as well).  Random cute hipster dude when Jon and I were coming out of a Chinese  restaurant.  I leave restaurant in italics because I don't know how to spell it and have to GOOGLE it every stinking time I want to use the word.


Tired of looking at my ugly mug, I decided to make faces at myself considering I absolutely hate pics of myself to the extent that most of my family member haven't seen a photo in print of the traditional kind since about 1998 when my hair was long (almost all the way to my butt) and brown.






The color DID bleed when I sweated at work. I was throwing about 5 TONS of feed that day (not an exaggeration.)  A ton is around forty fifty pound bags.  So, yes, I'm fat, but I'm mighty.  Try tossing feeds over your own height sometime. I'm approximately 5 foot 8.

 But the color still looks nice. Its STILL purple, not faded to blue yet. And from pale blue it usually goes to white...or so the Manic Panic would have by now.


Random compliment from cute hipster guy has prompted much online browsing for clothes. Not that I particularly need any.  Ruth and I went jean shopping at the Salvation Army a week or so ago and I'm fine now.  I have issues finding jeans that fit nicely and I REFUSE to pay full price for jeans I'm going to ruin at work or home anyway.

Not that everyone in life doesn't have fit issues.  That's why tailors used to be commonplace. Now, its a luxury. Wish I could afford my own personal tailor.

But, looking online at Modcloth is always fun.  I'm super picky. I never go anywhere fancy and I'm kind of boyish...so...I have lots of issues rationalizing purchases.  But, its still fun to window shop.

Easter is tomorrow. We have been invited to my friend Jen's and to Jon's Aunt's places.  I'm not sure which place I will feel less awkward.  I am super antisocial and claustrophobic. I have also been invited home, of course.  I can't make it there. Wish I could. Just can't warrant a five hour drive just to eat dinner, turn around, then drive back here and be at work on Monday. No. I'm not crazily 20 anymore.  I guess I should be.  I don' t feel my age until I get exhausted and then I wonder how I have so much energy to burn most of the time.

I wish I could get rid of all my social anxiety/antisocial tendencies.  It ruins a lot of things. But, I go on high alert and notice EVERY little thing and drive myself nuts.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

This Week Somewhere in Michigan


This little boy ran around in the mud, shouting "Hooray!" with much joy, tossing dirt onto his head as though it were confetti.

 I am jealous of an ALMOST-three year old's eyelashes.  Look at them!  Just look at those eyelashes!  This is why cosmetics companies sell mascara.



 My friend Ruth gave me some of her very, very pretty eggs.  I put them in a bowl to take photos. One blue, one green, two brown and specked.    She gave me a dozen.








Then I switched out the green egg for another blue one since that was also visually satisfying.



My professional grade hair dye from Pravana arrived.  I elected to do an experiment on only the front bits of my hair. (If you read the last blog, note how FAST the entire purple head went away.)  I mixed all three colors together, and painted away. Thirty minutes later, I had this. 

I did take note of several YouTube videos and washed it out in the stainless steel kitchen sink as I am told this dye STAINS everything. And saw a girl turn purple since she washed it out in the shower.  I also put Vaseline on my hairline to prevent staining on my skin. A handy tip. 
 
I am interested to find out how long this dye will last. So, more on that later.

My Roger's Honey moisturizer also arrived. I am not disappointed and I actually like both the lavender and the milk and honey scents.  It is a very thick moisturizer.  I will probably cut way back this summer on the use of it as my skin has been naturally oily all my life.  But, my skin is changing and this winter it became uncomfortably dry and nasty. But, then, I was outside a lot in negative 22 below zero weather.  I will try to keep it as supple as possible.

And, if that photo is scary, that's me with no makeup, with not even having run a brush through my hair. This is actually how I go to work most days. Poor them.  Sometimes my hair is much more wild and I might brush it, causing it to become worse looking.

So that is this week. 

Photo blogs are so much fun now that I have a new camera that works correctly.







Saturday, March 21, 2015

Iced Coffee is for Losers And Other Musings

It's a pretty inconsequential weekend.  Nothing much happening. I tasted iced coffee for the first time and it reminded me of when my grandma would request hot water in a cup. No tea bag, no hot chocolate, no nothing. Just hot water.  Iced coffee is the same. Gross.  Think I'll stick with the original hot coffee and cold water. It's a classic and it is delightfully palatable.

Have been invited to an Easter egg hunt/potluck dinner.  Not sure if I can go or not. Depends on if Jon has to work and if his family has plans. My family is a bit too far to drive for just a dinner.  If he has to work, I'm down to go hang out with Jen, her girlfriend, her cat, Mr. Mistofeelees, and anyone else who drops by.

Anyone else look at the Lexus logo on the back of a car and think it stands for Loser?  Or just me?  I mean, they are one of the world's ugliest, most douche bagglery cars, but....I don't think the designers thought out that L logo very well. Or perhaps the designers were much more mature than I am. I still remember making that "L" out of my fingers and placing it on my forehead in an immature manner to signify someone was a LOSER.

Only virtually related:  Beck: Loser

Ordered a few things off the web to try out.  I'm nearly out of the home made moisturizing potion my friend Crystal gave me and I no longer just bump into her at work, so I ordered some all natural stuff from a small company and am excited for it to arrive so I can try it out. 

This stuff:  Roger's Honey

They also sell honey.

And ordered a few tubes of Pravana hair dye since apparently my District Manager didn't give a crap about my purple hair the other day.  So, I'm hoping this dye will be a bit more permanent than Manic Panic on my hair.  I have been washing my hair once a week and by the end of two weeks, its pretty much all gone.  The dryness of winter plus bleaching my roots prompted me to try shampooing once a week. Worked out pretty well. My hair seems less dry and more shiny.  Going into warmer weather, where my job will have me sweating a lot, I am going to want to shampoo more often.

I ordered these colors:
                                                                       Magenta

                                                                    Violet

My friend Ruth has suggested I try ombre. I may. It sounds like a lot of work but also sounds fun. I do like the ability to change my color all the time, I've found...if I get tired of having it colored, I can let it wash out and be blonde for a bit, then color it all over again. Never comes out the same way twice because my mixing is not the most scientific but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Currently, I ran out of the lighter purple I was mixing with the Ultra Violet so am just at Ultra Violet plus conditioner. (Manic Panic Ultra Violet goes a really long way if diluted.)  The lighter color which was Mystic Heather doesn't go as far, needs less dilution, but fades really prettily if mixed with the Ultra Violet.

                                          A couple of weeks ago, I was a platinum blonde.

                                        Manic Panic Ultra Violet mixed with hair conditioner. Today.

                                               Decided to make faces at myself, why not?

                                                            Pushing 40.  Huh. 

I remember freaking out when I was pushing 30.  Wonder why?  I'm going to be one of those little old ladies with wild colored hair.  It's less boring.  I have more energy than people I work with who are ten or more years younger.  But, I ascribe many things to good genes.

I get tons of compliments from absolute strangers on my choice of alternative hair color so I don't know why corporations have restrictions on the colors their employee's hair can be. I work for one of those companies. But, as long as my boss and my DM aren't going to say squat to me, I think it doesn't apply. 

As for the compliments, the age and sex range is diverse. Everyone seems to love it. Old people, young people, men, women, kids.  I'm thinking they love that I'm brave enough to try it and they like the result. I also hear how do you do this? And I'm happy to tell them.  And, that they are afraid of commitment, which, in my case, is small. It washes out soooo fast for me. So fast.  Look at the top picture. That had been purple just like this a few weeks previous. And I mean FEW. Two and a half weeks, tops.

                                        This is me and my brother back in the 80s. My natural hair color.

Look how tan I was. We lived outside.  I have no idea how old we are there. Maybe I was seven and he was five?  My hair hasn't been that color since I was in my early 20s. And I haven't been anywhere near that tan in ages. No idea how I got that tan in the first place considering I am white like a ghost and my face tends to burn and then peel. I'm fine with pale. It's healthy.


                                                        Burgundy hair

That was at my brother's wedding and COMPLETELY out of character. As the photo shows, I was having an awesome time attempting to balance on my heels (I almost fell over, no kidding) and trying to behave myself, which is always difficult at an event like a wedding.  I pretty much fail at all social norms, which is not a surprise, but some people have problems with me being me. Fuck those people.


That is that for the evolution of my hair. So far. I'm only almost 40.  I'll get tired of purple someday and pick something else.