Thursday, May 26, 2011

Why Modern Medicine is Angry Making

   Step One:  Jon gets bit by horrible, horrible spider.
   Step Two: Jon breaks out in horrible, horrible rash.
   Step Three: Jon gets rash in eyeball.
   Step Four: Jon goes to incompetent asshole doctor

   Jon: Doctor, I watched a spider bite me and now I have a horrible rash.
   Doctor: It's not a spider bite, its poison ivy
   Jon: Yes, but I saw it bite me, it is not poison ivy
   Doctor: I don't know my head from my ass, but I do know you owe me $56
  
  (Jon enters the domicile where we live.)
   Jon: Are you still playing with bunny?
   Me: No.
   Jon: I need more money
   Me: Ah, of course

   (Jon leaves in search of the pharmacy)
   (Me is very angry and positive that the reason the drugs won't work is because the doctor is treating a spider bite with poison ivy meds; which happens every year.

    On a more positive note, Vincent the bunny loves to do zoomies.  He is very photogenic except that he is very bouncy and zooms very quickly and I am very slow and clumsy in comparison so often I get blurs of gray instead of cute, adorable bunny in photo. 

  There should be a public service ad that goes something like this:

 Angry, depressed, otherwise disenchanted by life and tired of working for the man?  Find something cute that loves you; then cuddle. Inhale, enjoy. Life is good!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Cage the Elephant

     I had bought concert tickets months ago to see them, however I was just not feeling going "downtown" last night, I immediately regretted my decision while watching the two warm up bands. Sad, but true, I am a picky music lover, I admit it. Very picky indeed, not as to the genre, but as to the content and the power of the song.  I find that Cage the Elephant is a rare band that can make me think, sing along, and the music just bounces--even when its a ballad. Now, that's a real band.
  The first band was called "O Brother" which is what I thought after the first couple of songs. Sigh.  I thought they weren't going to be too awful, because they were trying to be "Dethklok" and I figured it was an improvement on the whiny emo bands that opened for Cage last summer...and I prefer death metal to emo.  But I think they were too drunk to mix their songs properly, or just didn't know how. Things rattled and crackled and went in and out and you couldn't really tell what the hell that guy up there in the Army shirt was screaming about to any degree.
    Meanwhile, for some reason, I was surrounded by a bunch of tall people. We were down front on the floor and the tallest portion of the crowd was centered around me. Not that I am tall, or anywhere near what you would call above average in height...but the rest of the place was full of midgets, or 13 year olds that shouldn't have been on the floor, or both, I am not sure.  Tall people and 50 percent or so of them wearing flannel, as was I; as was commented on by one very drunk and fun guy who looked like he worked on an oil rig.  I was thinking evil thoughts at the tall people in front of me and, oddly, they'd shuffle over so I could see...at one point, I had a ten foot section to my right that lasted for about 30 minutes of empty space because I was getting so hostile (or so I tell myself) because its really unusual to have breathing room on the floor.
    O Brother finally left the stage and I sighed in relief.
    Then came Manchester Orchestra. I kept an open mind. I thought good thoughts. The first song wasn't too bad...oh, good, people started to bounce, I sighed in relief....but then, it started, the whining and bitching. Oh, hell, its an emo band in disguise.  They couldn't keep their energy levels up; every time the tiny teenagers started to actually get into the songs, they'd play a slow, bitchy song with no power or energy, and it would take ages to get back to the bouncy stuff. Near the end, they never could recover their vibe, even though the teenagers seemed to be enjoying themselves.  I, however, was thinking "get off the stage," for about twenty minutes. In that sea of love, the power of my hatred could not touch them. Sigh. And I am formidable. Please, emo people, become angry, write songs of hatred, anger, hostility, think death metal, Nirvana, Hole....don't whine like an eight year old brat.
     The moment finally came, Cage the Elephant took the stage!  We crept ever so close, within five feet of the stage....madness, from the first hit of the drum and strum of the guitar. Yes, that's music, and yes, that's raw energy and power. That's what a good set is!  The pit formed to our right, I was beating back stupid spoiled whore girls forever, it seemed. They didn't belong near the pit, they didn't even belong up front. They looked upset when people bounced into them or didn't let them do whatever inane things they were wanting to do. I delighted in upsetting them, and they left. Yes, I was a bitch to a bunch of children who had expensive I phones and clothing and looked snotty and rich. The floor is a great equalizer. Do things no one things you should or can, and you're going to find your way blocked. When you want to leave, we'll all let you.
     It was a rowdy set, by a rowdy band. Lots of crowd surfing by the crowd, and the band. Near the end, we backed off, my ears couldn't take the speakers anymore and I was hot and sweaty besides. And near the end, the lead singer, I really should find out his name, because he is a master showman, crowd surfed from the stage, across the floor, up to the next level of floor, then up to the bar, then from the bar up to the first balcony. He climbed up there....and vanished. And the show was over, because short of setting something on fire, they weren't going to be able to top that.
    Exiting the Fillmore, I heard some spoiled 13 year old say that he didn't know it was going to be a hardcore show. Jon and I laughed about that. It wasn't a hardcore show. It was just a rock show, a good one....people are surely evolving in the wrong direction. Parents are coddling their kids too much. You ARE going to get bruises, you ARE going to get shoved around...that's LIFE. Life is not Justin Bieber music.  It's not all candy and rainbows and sugary sweet gag me with a spoon pop....its raw, its violent and sometimes you don't get anything you want.