The Christmas Rat

Christmas Eve morning was an early morning. Ratty McGee got his head caught in a rat trap and commenced to slowly die while trying to escape with the trap, which caused a horrid rattling noise from the trap not being small enough to squeeze out from behind the stove.  I poked at the trap, rat and all, until I forced it into the bucket I use for dumping rabbiit poo and threw the whole mess outside into the cold 20 degree weather to deal with much later once Ratty had expired.  So far, no more rats.  Mice, however, seem to be eating the peanut butter off the rat traps...so I need to invest in mouse traps. Yay. More things to kill....ugh...so gross.  I did find a hole in the inside of my pantry, so for the time being, I have plugged if off with a giant chunk of concrete (in abundance in our backyard since we demolished our old concrete porch) and a piece of board from when we built a wooden porch.  I intend to go to the store and buy some expanding foam and mouse traps and that should be that.  Well, aside from the missing drywall, which is another issue entirely, but maybe my food will be able to go back into the pantry at some point. I'm tired of rummaging in the fridge and one cabinet for not supposed to be refrigerated items.  It's hard to find anything!

The trip to Ohio for Christmas was nice and quiet.  Jon got really sleepy driving and finally let me take over at 15 minutes until our destination.  Silly boy. I volunteered halfway through.  We let ourselves into my parent's house at 2 am, their old dog, Bean, woofed at us then was all twitterpated and happy.  We packed ourselves off to my old room and went to sleep without even unpacking.  We didn't do much except hang out with my parents then drive back home, but it was a nice time. Not relaxing exactly, with all the driving for a two night stay, but a nice time.

The store has been annoying, with Tim's cheap schedule (no bodies), all the moving of various things around, and idiots returning things they bought or were gifted.  If you don't know what to buy someone, try a gift card to a STORE WHERE THEY ACTUALLY SHOP.  Don't expect the store to have common sizes after Xmas for exchanges, all we have are things in size medium and size 4X...if you aren't one of those, you are out of luck.  If the gift wasn't paid for with cash, your refund will be refunded 1. either to the debit/credit card of the person who bought the damn thing, or 2. as a store credit.  Sorry. Just keep that in mind.  Tim has since realized his mistakes and has been frantically calling people in to work. Maybe he just should have scheduled more than two people a shift to start with.  So yesterday, we FINALLY finished the freight that was left from Tuesday.  I worked a giant dog food pallet in 45 minutes, and Tyler was called in to deal with the feed truck, which got semi-worked.  Tyler works really hard, people are just that annoying and needy.

Jon has also been annoying as he realizes that working 40 hours a week makes it difficult to do anything other than go to work and come home...unless its a day he doesn't work. Yep. Welcome to reality.  So he is horribly grouchy and making me and the dogs crazy with his grumpiness. Wonder how he thinks I've ever accomplished anything while working 40 hours these last three years?  I mean, just this morning I've done laundry, vacuumed and washed the small amount of dishes that accumulated from last night...all before I leave for work.  I refuse to leave dirty dishes anymore since the rodent problem.  They need to find some other buffet.

Heading to Ruth and Joe's tomorrow night for dinner. Should be fun.  

Me and Ratty McGee

We have rodents, oh yes...no real reason, we aren't uber clean but not complete slobs...the only reason we have rodents is that our house is old and hard to seal up.  Also, probably the MAIN reason, most of the drywall in our utility room is missing due to plumbing issues, so if an errant vermin winds up in the crawl space or the attic, its pretty simple for it to just climb through the wall and into the house.

That being said, mice always move into our house during winter. I have some experience catching them (and cats) on glue traps.  Yes, I have caught my OWN cat on a glue trap.  Lots of cooking oil, then lots of Dawn soap and I ended up with one mad, and still somehow greasy, kitty cat.  Seems my cats only want to catch and eat the mice that are already caught.

This, however is different.  I found big poo behind the stove, along with insulation that seems to be from the stove. By big, I mean, too large for a mouse, too small to be my cats suddenly deciding they don't feel like using their litter box because they have suddenly become senile.  I cleaned it all up including any food, also did behind the fridge. 

I woke up at 4 am because of some weird rattling noise.  Because of my sleep disorientation, I didn't really locate the sound so I wondered around the house, found nothing, and ended up in the bathroom.  I poked at the small trash can and out this rat came...and, because I was startled, I screamed. Yep. Screamed. Me.  Unusual.  But I was sleep retarded.  I mean, what was I really expecting?  I poked at something to cause some sort of result, right?  Well, I got it then I acted like some shiny cellophane princess. 

The dogs gave chase but to no avail.  The cats simply looked unnerved.  Like, "Erm...oh THAT was what that weird noise was...scary...what? Why are you looking at us like we should be doing something?"

Jon mumbled at me, asked if I was okay when I climbed back into bed, trying to fight off an adrenaline rush because despite the 4 hours of sleep I was still dead tired, so I wanted to go to sleep. Still do, for that matter..but alas, am awake. Then he went back to snoring...until more scratching started then HE became unnerved. 

So, at the unholy hour of 7 am I was on my way to Home Depot to buy some rat traps. Oh yes, I got the ones that look like big, black clothespins so that if I do manage to catch Ratty McGee and probably his pals as well, that I don't have to touch the fuckers to release them from the trap.  Also, it looks difficult to accidentally spring this while setting, which, to me, is a bonus. Mouse traps hurt. A rat trap would probably break a finger.

It is now twenty to nine in the morning. I am exhausted. Jon is....sleeping...damn him, and I am  probably going to try to go back to sleep.  I don't have to leave for work until...12 30pm. 

I hate you Ratty McGee.

Sleepy

Two days off work is great for an attitude adjustment, which makes me feel like the corporate idiots need to schedule ALL full time employees two days off in a ROW each week.  I was less annoyed with customers and my job today than usual, even though I work the same number of hours each week.  It's just nice to have a two day break from the annoying. 

Jon and I celebrated our "Early Gift Day."  I got spoiled with a new Ipod Nano and the entire Freaks and Geeks series.  I did not expect such riches. I just knew Jon was being all secretive and buying me things.  Which, of course, caused me to buy him things even though we had discussed NOT participating in the holiday frenzy this year.  The gifts I bought were less extravagant, but were what Jon wanted.  Magic cards and a pair of nice wool socks.  Still, he was sad that I didn't spend so much as he spent.  Ugh. Frustrating considering this is exactly why we usually don't do the whole gift thing.  I wasn't aware we had money to spend...but, I am of the opinion that I need spoiling once in a while, and I don't spoil myself, so he should.   I spoil him. 

I am so tired despite having days off.   The dog trio loved to wake me up every morning at around 9 am if I was lucky to stay in bed that long to go outside and romp.  Sadie was so easy and quiet, but this dog pack was quite rowdy and not ready to allow me to rest.  They fed off each other's energy.  Funny, Doggles and Emma are BOTH sleeping on the couch next to me at the moment, the most relaxed I've seen them in days.  Emma misses Sadie, though. I heard her whining a few times.  All in all, they were all good dogs and caused little to no trouble.

Jon's pal Shane was over until 3 am last night.  Didn't seem to understand that Jon and I were going to get up early-ish...Jon to go to work, me to go have tea with Ruth and take Sadie home.  Of course, he is used to getting up at 4 pm and getting off work at 3 am...so he's completely backwards.  I like Shane, I just wanted to go to sleep.  I should sleep right now. But Jon is over at Shane's and I never seem to sleep when he's not home. 

Check engine light is still on.  I was going to have a girl use her code reader on it while we were at work but she left at  9 and the rest of us left at 9 30 so I didn't quite catch her in time.  Sigh.  I guess I can go to Autozone, but I still hate the "boy's club" feeling I get whenever I go to those places.  I could send Jon but that makes me feel even more of a stupid female...but on the other hand, I do get tired of dealing with realities...seems like that's all I ever do anymore.  Be nice to have a reality errand boy.  I probably should buy a replacement gas cap and see if that does the trick, $20, relatively inexpensive, and probably worth the peace of mind if it would do the trick.

Not sure if I am taking one dog, two dogs, or no dogs to my parent's house this weekend. Need to decide, though.  I hate leaving Doggles. He is completely MY dog...and understand what Ruth means when she says she thinks she is doggie co-dependent.  I also don't want him to go through that horrible "I EAT YOUR STUFF" phase again...and me being absent from him seems to trigger it...wish he'd get over it.  I guess he's human codependent. 

And, as much as Doggles is my dog, Emma is Jon's.  She just loves him more.  I am not offended.  Some personalities just mesh better.  She's so easy going and easily startled, that its funny that someone so brash, opinionated and loud at times gets her...but then, Jon is high-tempered and has to think about what he's doing more when she's around...I think they are good for each other.




We still have mice.  Uck.  Meaning I should buy traps.  Uck.  The glue traps were a bad idea, since I caught a not too happy cat.  So I suppose I should get the ucky smash 'em traps.  Poison is definitely out. Too many animals that I don't want to eat a poisoned mouse...otherwise, I'd totally poison the horrible little nuisances.  I don't want to do any of this. Jon refuses to deal with the mice, or did last winter, making it all my problem.  How many man points do I get for disposing of sad little corpses?  Makes me sad.  They're not evil, they just happen to have invaded my territory and get into things I don't want them into. Mice shouldn't be so cute; I'd feel less guilty.  With two cats, I'd think they'd catch them, but they only catch the mice that are already stuck to the glue traps.  Sigh.  I guess I should get a mouser...but then, I don't want another cat.  I am at my limit.

In Which I think I am Victorious

Today I dog-sit, which is really simple and fun and Sadie has only been checking windows looking for Ruth a few times.  She is more laid back this time than last...I assume because Ruth didn't drop her off and I just took Sadie for a ride.  But I can tell she misses Ruth.  She has discovered how to sit on the folding chair by my table and look out the window; just like a person.  Sadie is such an amazing little black dog.

I called my folks to let them know I mostly likely (unless in the event of horrible natural disaster) will be driving down Christmas Eve to be able to spend Christmas with them.  Mom sounded extremely happy even though she works the day after Christmas.  She talked for an hour and I basically just had to tell her I wanted off the phone.  I got tired of all the depressing stories.  Save those for in person, Mom, please.  I know she is just relaying information that I sometimes do not have access to, but I don't want that to be the crux of the entire conversation. So I didn't tell her I spent tons on my car, or anything of that nature, just that we are doing fine.  I'll talk more when I'm sitting around their house with no internet, no television and not a lot to do besides visit.

Car is doing nicely. Well, that stupid CHECK GAS CAP message came on again last night while I was picking up Sadie and then the CHECK ENGINE LIGHT again...sigh. But I am not going to panic. I just had major engine repair.  The car sounds just fine, the motor is running quite smoothly, the gas mileage went up a half a mile a gallon on my way home last night with all those dummy lights on, and when something is seriously wrong that gas mileage doesn't go up.  So will keep an eye on it. I kind of think perhaps the sensor in the gas thingy is going bad.  Not a big deal.  Just an annoyance.  My dad has a perma check engine light on in his car.  It was just a sensor going out and was going to cost $400 and dad chose not to have it fixed. That was about 7 years ago.  He stuck electrical tape over the light and the car still runs great.

Despite DTE Energy Corp majorly ticking me off, our bank account wasn't down to the last $20 by payday.  I have over a hundred left in there, can finish paying Ruth and Joe for the Jeep, pay off the evil DTE, and pay for my internet and STILL (on Monday when Jon gets paid) have money for gas, food, an inhaler, and maybe even Xmas presents.  And, depending, may even be able to finish paying off the car insurance for the Jeep. 

Guess what a minimum payment for a $1614 balance on a credit card is? It's disgusting and sick.  $32. Wow.  It would take 17 years and $3794 to pay off.   I hope we get that no interest card and can get the balance transferred...and, at any rate, I am always going to send them as much as I can. I was never comfortable covering an emergency on a card. I just didn't have the cash option.  I can't wait until we can save up something like $2000 and just leave it alone for such times.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

My car is back tra-la!!!!  It makes the driveway look sooo much happier.  Concrete is dull and boring and needs a lot of spice for contrast especially now that the grass has turned that weird winter green/brown/yellow color.  Not so lovely. 

I almost forgive the guy for having it for a week and two days.  Car is less cranky sounding on cold start...the bearing and sway bars being fixed make it turn nicer with less rattling...and mostly I am happy it is not perma-broken or have some mystery gremlin that no mechanic can fathom.

So, despite the ouchy price tag $1614 and some change, it is still cheaper than finding a different good on gas car. Lots of things are cheap right now, but all of them guzzle gas like an alcoholic on a bender.  Cash for clunkers really made life suck for anyone looking for a used car.  Lots of the so-called "clunkers" would have been just fine by reasonable standards...people just wanted a good deal on a new car.  Plus, I figure if I'm nice to it, I can put 100,000 more miles on that car.  Jon's Jeep is 100,000 miles ahead of my car and still going strong.

So, for Christmas, I get my car back!

Now I just have to deal with three, YES THREE different versions of "Run Rudolph Run"  to help pay for the repair (and all the other living expenses) at work.  I counted 15 plays of that fucking song yesterday.  Yes, run, Rudolph, run right in front of a Peterbilt on the freeway.  Then that will be the end of you.

Jon left for work quite some time ago. Nice to have some time to myself and not leave for work an hour to four hours early...although the four hour early days I usually have tea with a pal.  And I do think I am going to continue the tradition as long as I don't work until 1 30 or 2 30 on freight days.  That could change due to the corporate office's weird ideas on freight...but I am not going to volunteer to do freight at 5 am...and the powers that be will have to force me into it.

Still no car

The car was dropped off early Monday morning. It is now Friday.  I've been told many things regarding the finish date; most recently, that it would be today. So wrong.  They keep it the weekend.  If they don't put the damn thing back together on Monday I am going to go ballistic.  Who knows, maybe I'll be one of those horrible screaming people who score large discounts by being assholes.  It's definitely possible. This is ridiculous for a job that I was told would take two days.  I knew it was a big job.  I want it done correctly. I also want it done in a timely manner.

  I'm sorry, maybe you should run  your garage a little differently and take appointments?  Or maybe refuse to do oil changes, install batteries, and other piddly little bullshit like install windshield wipers which even the minimum wage workers at Auto Zone will do for you...for free?  The only reason I even know any of that goes on in there is that my mother in law took her car in there today to get a blower motor for her call installed so that her car is a little safer in the rain and snow.  I guess she didn't realize how bad it was until she drove Jon home one day when it was raining.  She came over to use our bathroom because there isn't one in the garage and the restroom at the BP was disgusting. I don't blame her. But she said idiots were having the mechanics install windshield wipers and such.   Isn't that kind of like paying a surgeon to prescribe cold medicine?  I hate stupidity.

I spent tons of cash-ola on things like toilet paper.  Then Jon went to work and I was to wait until they called about the car. They never did, of course, so I called them.  Such great news.  Fuckers.  Fix the damn thing!  Jon is now at work and I am drinking whiskey sours while dying my hair and killing time on the computer while watching Hoarders.

We both work tomorrow, of course.   I almost don't even care what the bill is for this repair. I just want this all over with.

The diagnosis?  My 2 timing chains...(oh, joy there's two!)  and two lifters.  At least, as far as I know.  Jon has been dealing with them.  They don't seem particularly welcoming to women.  I hate that. 

Sunday Morning

Unplanned sleepovers happen.  Especially when someone locks their keys in their car and the other key is at their mom's house and it is the lively time of 3 am.  I do not own a wire coat hanger so Dave couldn't even try that.  We did try the poking a hole in a tennis ball then squashing it over the lock of a car that has auto locks but that didn't work.  Didn't figure it would, but hell, have tennis ball could possibly travel.  So Dave spent "the night"-- all of almost 4 hours-- on the couch. Why such a short night?  I  have to leave for work at 10 am and Dave's mom lives 45 minutes or so away, one direction, and of course, isn't planning to come out here to work today. She usually works in Farmington which is much much closer. 

Dave said he'll give us some gas money. I ordinarily wouldn't take it, but this Jeep eats half a tank of gas every two days that both Jon and I work, so we need fuel money until my more economical car is repaired.  Not sure how long that is going to take.  It's on my to-do list for tomorrow.

To Do List:

Take car to mechanic. Have him fix lots of things.

Go to insurance office, put insurance on the Jeep. Would have done so Friday, but it was a sacred shopping holiday so the God of Capitalism could be worshiped so the insurance office was closed.  So I am technically driving illegally but it couldn't be helped.

Go to Secretary of State and transfer title, get tags.  Mental note: go to small unknown office so horrible 4 hour wait in line at big, well known office won't happen.

Take well-deserved nap.

Poof Goes the Money

 So more excitement.

Had a good start yesterday, nice thrift store shopping and such.  Went to go buy groceries because our fridge contains the following contents: milk (probably expired), vodka, and condiments and the freezer contains: one severely freezer burned package of chicken, half eaten bag of garlic toast and ice. The cupboards contain: some ramen noodles, and lipton rice sides or something...and of course car all of a sudden (even though it was driven earlier in the day) beings making horrible engine ticking.  The ticking gets louder the faster you rev the engine.  I look it up. Timing chain and timing chain tensioner is probably the culprit.  Oh, yay. Now I know what that check engine light was for.  Since I don't want to blow up my engine, which is good, just needs expensive new parts, it is parked and is a pretty yellow driveway ornament, which is sad making.
 
Lots of stress later, we have kind of figured out a plan.  Is it a good plan, eh, not really. Will it work, I hope so.  So I am unexpectedly off work today because I can't hitch a ride with anyone because I live far far away and I don't have access to another car.  Jon biked over to his mom's house and borrowed her car to take himself to work but has to have it back by such and such a time, so I couldn't have driven it to work anyway. 

Called work, they were surprisingly humane, explained the situation, I lose my holiday pay, which sucks, but nothing can be done about it, and have put plan into action with the help of Ruth and Joe, whom are saving my ass whether they know it or not. 
 
 I went all drama queen on Jon last night, because I understandably upset, and he was very nice to me and listened to me be ridiculous and figured out most of the details.  I don't often do that to him, and its a credit to him that when I am falling apart he can hold it all together.  I guess that's one of the many reasons I married him.  It works both ways, though.
  
Everything is messed up at the moment.

Even my power bill.  I went online to pay it because I neglected to buy stamps again.  The paper statement conflicted with the online statement. On paper, I owe $99; online I have a credit of $52. I know which I like better, but I figure I better call customer service so this too won't bite me in the ass unplanned. I told the guy the meter reader came out, I let him read the meter, then a week later another meter reader came out and read the meter, which I thought was odd, but eh, whatever, right?  And he said, "Oh, well, that's what happened, we've been estimating your bill for a while and its finally gotten corrected. So, you ignore this statement, the meter readers will be out again soon and then you'll have a bill minus the $52 credit." Okay.  I'll take a $52 credit any day. I'm just glad I don't owe SOMEONE on this planet a jillion dollars.  To be fair, a jillion dollars to me is anything over $200.

 I owe Wells Fargo a jillion dollars for buying my house, I will owe Ruth and Joe a jillion dollars for a Jeep...and will owe a jillion dollars to the mechanic to fix my car (or my parents or a credit card company depending on which option I select to pay for the car). I should select my parents but that sucks and makes me feel like a kid who can't solve her own problems, but, as far as I know, they don't charge interest.
  
My old neighbor in Ohio died. Makes me soooo sad.  He died sometime between yesterday and today which makes me wonder if it was during my freak out period in which I told Jon, "I feel like someone died" and cried a lot.  He had Creutzfeld-Jakob Disease
  
He had only been diagnosed a month ago. Melvin meant a lot to all of us, and, growing up, he was one of the small handful of people I knew.  Living next door in the country means having bigger boundaries but you get to know your neighbors more thoroughly.  He was a good man and I am sad I won't get to see him at least one more time.

I found out on Facebook.  Melvin's wife had posted it.  I hate the use of face face for the purpose of death notification.  Seems an unecessarily cold way to find out that someone died.  My cousin, Erin, did text me as well.  I'd still prefer a phone call.  But I am glad someone thinks to tell me these things since I am not just a half an hour down the road anymore.

End of November

      The leaves are gone and that makes me sad.  There isn't much that makes me happier than seeing all the bright leaves in the fall, unless its seeing tree buds in the spring.  But, then, I love all things bright colored and happy.  Like tulips, forsythias, and even the fresh green grass in the spring.  I've seen snowflakes and its nearly the end of November.  The skies are gray and the trees are bare.  I am just glad its stayed temperate.  Blankets of snow are fine, for the first day, so long as I can leave my house, meaning less than 8 inches of snow...more than that and my little car gets stuck with the greatest of ease.  Snow is quiet and peaceful, even in the city, so long as I don't have to be anywhere, I don't mind.  But I do mind the cold and always being cold.  I can't stand it or the feeling of being trapped inside because of the nasty cold wind.

       Emma Bad Dog just went through the trash, out of boredom, I guess...I look up and shes blatantly gnawing on a used tampon. How gross...I took it away from her and shut the bathroom door and now she's whining as though there's a squirrel that she'd like to chase but the glass prevents her.  Then, she tried to instigate a cat chase which I yelled at her for and she looked at me with such sad, innocently guilty brown eyes, like she's saying "What? I was bored...and the cat RAN...of COURSE I chased her! It was all that trollop of a cat's fault, not mine."  At least Jon is off work tomorrow, the dogs can go out and play as long as they like instead of being on "our" crazy schedule where they get to be out in the morning, then inside alllllll day (I am quite sure 8-10 hours is FOREVER to a dog) then go back outside until Emma decides she needs to bark at 10 pm, which our neighbors, I am sure, do NOT appreciate and I let them back inside.

      Doggles, as seen here, has been remarkably good lately. I haven't come home to discover wayward chewing of my things in a couple of weeks.  Good for him...and me...I really don't enjoy splicing things or cleaning up foam from the couch.  He is now curled up against me on the couch while Emma sleeps at the other end, and Moose, my fluffy cat, is curled up against my other side.  All the things need attention all at the same time. The only ones missing: my bunny, Vincent, who is safely in his room, and the Fat Kitty, who is probaby under the bed after being chased by Emma earlier.  She only surfaces once in a while and mostly for food and sometimes for attention, and she's picky about who pets her.  It took Jon months of living with me to get that cat to trust him enough to allow him to even touch her.  She's odder than most.

      Jon, seen here during the summer with my old pal Bean, is predictably at Levon's house. I am about to call him and bother him to come home.  How freaky--my curtains are moving and my furnace isn't even running.  I either have a draft from hell all of a sudden, or my "ghostie" is wandering about again.  Yes, we have a ghost in our house.  He's harmless...and yes, I am sure its a "he."  I have seen and heard all kinds of things, none of them threatening.  And, no, I'm not scared.  I've had many dealings with the unexplained in my life and I've always seen and heard things that most other people do not. Am I some sort of strange psychic? No.  I think I just pay attention.  Lately, I even seen the "ghostie" of the New Hudson TSC. And, yes, we DO have a ghostie at the TSC.  It makes noises when we've overstayed our welcome at night.  The night crew seems to be its main targets...always harmless, but obvious it wants us to leave by a certain time.  Cheryl, our reciever has seen it wandering the hall by the break room, restrooms, the office, and her desk.  I saw it in the office one night while we were counting the tills.  And YAY!!! Jon is home!!

My hormones talk, I think

  It doesn't often happen, but I am puzzled as to what course of action I should take.

    My check engine light continues to stay on, sigh, and I should have it checked out.  However, this is the pay period with the big bills and not much money left over so I don't know what to do if the guys are all like, uh, you need a HUGE EXPENSIVE THINGY!!!!  Besides the "hey, you still need a new timing chain" yeah, I know...its like over a thousand dollars that I find impossible to save but not for lack of trying. We need so many things. 
   
      Jon literally has two pairs of underwear and I have one pair of pants.  While I do tend to buy clothes at places like the Salvation Army I am increasingly disgusted by the number of Cadillac and Lexus owners who apparently buy everything worth taking that might be of use to someone with less money.  I think they should request to view pay stubs before allowing admittance. Sorry, if you can drive a Lexus and still manage to eat and make house payments, then you don't need to shop there.
   
     So I suppose I should bite the bullet and ask to borrow money from my parents, which I really really don't want to do.  I'm an adult, and I don't want to run crying to Mom because I can't cough up 1200 bucks to maintain my car, but looks like I'm going to have to do just that.  In the summer, this wouldn't  be as much of an issue, but of course, I saw damned snowflakes today and that means the furnace must eat gas. 
  
      Also I want Jon to have a Jeep.  Yes, I do.  I am tired of running his butt around and the extra mileage on my car. It won't save any gas but I will be a happier me and Jon will be a happier he.  He is tired of relying on a combination of me and his parents to get him to and from work because of car sharing.  I thought he wanted to sell his old Fender on Ebay to help with this but he says he worries that if he does that, then he has nothing really valuable left to sell if we get in a bad spot.  So, who knows?  It's his and therefore, it is up to him.  And its not bad logic.  He'd have would have had to sell it if he hadn't gotten hired at Burger King by now.
   
     Maybe TSC will spit out the tax forms early this coming January. That'd be nice.  That $1000 was really handy last spring what with car insurance being due and Jon not working. Of course we file jointly now and I have no idea when Jon would get his form.
  
       Jon is having small panic attacks daily.  His district manager is working all shifts for two weeks.  This is day three.  He is soooo worried about getting fired that I don't even know what that would do to his mental health at this point.  He says the best thing about working is not sitting around wondering what he's going to do all day and how we are going to eat...but the worst thing is the fear that that could be taken away.  And, of course, he tells me corporate is coming in tomorrow to fix something and if  you look at them funny or do something wrong, you're history.  I tend to think he's over reacting, but I've never worked at a job in fast food so I can't argue effectively.  So we shall see how all of this goes.
   
     Thanksgiving is next week. How....odd.  I don't feel like a holiday is imminent.  I have no plans. I imagine I shall wait for Jon to get home from work. He still doesn't have a schedule for next week.
     
     Hmmm....someone is outside...probably looking for Jon, who is at work. Yep. Dave.  While I like most of Jon's friends, sometimes I get tired of seeing them.  Oh, its not that they are rude or refuse to leave, nothing like that, but could we just have a day when Dave, Levon, or Shane can just pretend we don't exist?  I'm sure we actually do have those days, once or twice a week...seems like it should be more often. I dunno...maybe since I am rarely at home I value my time there more highly than I should.  Or, well, I don't mind as much if I am drinking, because I rarely have much to say to any of these fellows because they are playing Magic, mostly, or jabbering relentlessly about Call of Duty and frankly I am bored...and if its a subject on which I am not bored, then I apparently have such odd points of view (especially concerning religion)  that I can too easily offend. I am blunt but I have never insulted anyone's religion.  I have friends of many religions so I don't understand why talking about this subject should be taboo.  To me, its like saying "I like nachos."  and then someone disagreeing and saying "I don't like nachos."  And yet another person saying, "Nachos are good with green pepper...."  Meh, I guess I'm weird.

     I am rambling. I am sure this is PMS, but as always, unless it hits me in the head, I don't really know.  I am restless and emotional for no particular reason.  I want vodka and Pepsi...yes, in that order.  It is winter and I become a seasonal drinker.  I drink to be warm and to combat stress from horrible holiday shoppers.  No, I don't mix the two, I sort of do something awful and chug the vodka directly from the bottle then chase it with a sip of Pepsi...Jon used to shake his head at me and say this was so horrible and that I was going to become an alcoholic, this was years ago. Now, he says, hell, if the bills are all paid and we have food and gas, go ahead and buy the vodka!  I think he realizes that I really do limit myself even if it doesn't seem like I do. I rarely am hungover despite drinking a fifth in three days.  I would be too whiny at work if I were hungover.

Vincent the Bunny and Horse Pee Man

    Vincent the Bunny has somehow decided he can magically jump two feet into the air onto Jon's old toy box and look out the window.  At least that's where he was this morning when I heard noises and went to check on him. I guess that's a hint: Vincent needs a ramp because he wants to look out the window and watch dogs frolic around the backyard:)  I am off tomorrow, I can figure something out then.  I put him back onto the floor in case he couldn't get back down, but somehow I am certain he has done this before.  He's a funny little floofle, quite entertaining, actually.

     Work was weird yesterday.  The guys were all "Squeee!!!!!" and I couldn't figure out why and then Jason started yapping like a teenage girl to this one guy and I'm still like....um, ???? Why are you ALL going "SQEEE!!!!"  They finally clued me in...apparently the Tiger's third baseman was in our store shopping. They told me his name but I'd never heard of him and promptly forgot it.  Just out of curiosity I looked him up online. Brandon Inge...or something.  He was a small guy, about the size of Ruth's husband, Joe, and the most polite person I rang up all day. Really.   He bought 450 dollars worth of Carhartt clothing and boots and left.  The guys were still going "SQUUEEEEE!"  Nice to know one of the guys who makes an absurd amount of money a year is actually polite to people who work in stores.

       I had a couple really nasty customers yesterday.  My favorite is was the one who screamed "ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WORKING IN THIS STORE?"  Nope, there's two of us at the moment, our third is at lunch, I replied. I paged Jason.  Apparently the rude horrid man wanted to buy horse pee!!!!  He seemed to believe horse pee keeps racoons at bay because someone told him so.  I think he was being an ass to someone and they were messing with him.  I told him he'd have to find someone who has horses and get some pee from them if he wanted an answer.  But, no apparently, he didn't like that idea and thinks somehow, that horse pee comes pre-bottled from some weird company that makes their money bottling horse pee. Last I checked, horses are not natural predators for racoons.  The only natural predator for racoons that I've ever known is my grandfather.  He'd kill hundreds of them during coon season and sell their pelts.

   The very next customer was nice and shaking his  head over horse pee customer's rudeness. He was very sweet.  He said he couldn't believe how that guy acted.  I think there should be a rudeness surcharge and it should go straight into my wallet.

The game of life

    The children of my neighbor who died are going to sell his house. Yep.  I know this because a concrete leveling crew has been outside all morning working on his driveway.  I am not happy about this; I was quite fond of the nice old man who knew everyone else's business while appearing, at least, to mind  his own.  He never once called the cops on us for illegal bonfires or general rowdiness, or because the dogs were barking.  So this is not good news. We could get saddled with some real stinkers  such as people with horribly annoying children, in which case, the backyard will be totally dead to me.  Which is sad because I like being outside.  On the bright side, maybe they won't be able to sell it.  But there is no way I can get out of my mortgage since we have too many broken things to fix ourselves and little capital.
     I am off work for three whole days.  What shall I do? No idea.  I think I am going to saunter outside in a bit and work on my leaves. They are mostly all down now.  I haven't had time to deal with them.  So I think I shall chew them all up into mulch.  My neighbors all do that "town thing" where they rake the leaves, then laboriously shove them into giant paper bags, then let them sit until trash day for the guys in the landscape trash truck to pick up and hope that it doesn't rain and turn the bags into mush.  I did that one year. Never EVER again.  What a mess, and what a lot of work.  So much easier to mulch the leaves up then use them as compost.
   Jon has the car, so no excitement there, as he has to work two of the days I am off.  And Ruth went to visit her family, which is awesome for her.  I kind of wish I could have tagged along, but then again, I am not privy to the arrangements and don't want to be an inconvenience. I would, however, like to go to the UP with Ruth someday.  So I shall see Ruth probably on Tuesday when Jon is always scheduled to work 2 hours before I am so I use Ruth's house as a kind of crash pad and we visit, which is soooooo nice.
    I got paid so I bought doggie vittles and kitty/bunny litter and booze.  Yep. A whole fifth of blueberry vodka just for me.  I drank a bit last night. Winter and crazy holiday customers always set me to drinking.  I hate being cold and I also hate feeling annoyed.  Booze helps. Now if we only could take to sipping from flasks at work, I wouldn't feel like I should bash customers in the head with the ITEM OF THE MONTH....ugh.  No wonder those ucky shopping mall Santas always seem to smell of whiskey.  If I got peed on, kicked, drooled on, screamed at and etc. by people's brat kids, I'd drink heavily allllll day long.  Brat kids are an epidemic in this nation. My parents NEVER let me act like the average kid today.  Scream in a store?  NEVER!!!!  That just meant you left the store and went home and no more fun.
    Dogs are still itchy from fleas.  I bought the drops and all animals (except bunny who doesn't seem particularly susceptible to fleas) are treated and I thoroughly vacuumed/washed things and even put salt under the bed, on the dog beds, and on the couches and such but new fleas are hatching. How do I know they are new fleas, you ask? They are ever so much tinier than their predecessors.  So I guess I am making some progress, its just slow.  So I imagine another vacuum,wash and salt day is in my future.
    My Aunt Nita invited me to Turkey Day at her place.  Man, I really would love to go. I hate retail.  I HAVE to work Black Friday, no exceptions.  Wouldn't be so much of an issue if I didn't live 5 hours away. Five hours doesn't sound like much until you pile into a car for 5 hours, eat dinner, then pile into a car for another five hours then go to work.  Plus, I imagine Jon will be working. Maybe we can arrange something with Ruth and Joe again.   I have it easy though, Ruth drives something like 12 hours to see her family...one way. 
    I should get dressed. I have been lounging in pajamas for three hours or so now.  Stupid sinus headache woke me up early.  House is a shambles as well...amazing how dirty it gets when we're only home to sleep and leave again.  It's Jon's turn to do the dishes, which means, of course, they are ALL dirty.  I  like to do them more often when there are less of them.  He likes to let them pile so it takes an hour or more.  Oh well, I'm not doing them.

Cranky

     There must be something in the air today, or in the stars...something in the universe seems bent on sending annoying, aggravated, and aggravating people my way.  All day.  The customers were incessantly cranky, stupid to the point of me wanting to ask several if they had some sort of disability that causes them to ask which register is open even though the other register is covered with junk I'm assembling,  then calling to ask if we can ring them up a bag of rolled oats (even though we closed 15 minutes before) then PUT ME ON HOLD when I tell them the price and decide that, no, their horse doesn't need to eat grain after all.  To hell with Lorien for answering the phone after 8 anyway.  I'd think she'd know better by now.
     Then I drive home thinking I am driving on one headlight.
     I pick up Jon.  He is also cranky. Great.  Just what I need. One more Crankster.
     I check to see if my headlight really is only just one headlight. It is.  I tell him its the one I already changed.  He freaks out and says I did so improperly and that is why its gone out already. Um....sorry, I changed the headlight. There is really only one way that entire assembly fits in there.  Don't second guess me. Maybe it was just a crappy bulb?  I mean, it has been in there for a whole year now.  And its not like I don't have another bulb just sitting around waiting (I bought two) for one to go out.  No big deal. Why act like it is?  Bulbs go out. Shit happens.  I can fix it again.  I'm not a total moron.  I guess I should just keep my mouth shut and fix things without telling him. Wonder if he'd notice?
     He hasn't noticed that the dogs ate the wired antenna for the tv yet. Despite deciding to check if it was unplugged last night...and plugging it in and having little to no result to the positive.  Oh, guess I should fix that now, while he's out.  I hate that, though.  Hiding little stupid things so I don't have to deal with other people's crankiness...seems wrong somehow.
   

Plots

   
      After being ridiculously busy toting people back and forth to work, ucky weather,  and the drain sporadically deciding not to work, I have two days off!  So far, I have done a whole lot of nothing, such as surf the web, oogle pictures of my friend's newly acquired hedgehog, Luna, who I have yet to meet, and give the dogs a bath.  Both are itchy. I don't know if I still have a few remaining fleas or not, and to my dismay, I spent last night at one of Jon's friends' and he has a riotous amount of fleas.  I think I may buy some of the diatomaceous earth we sell (it's food grade so not harmful to people or animals) and sprinkle it on the carpets.  It is supposed to kill fleas by sucking all the moisture out of their exoskeletons...which sounds much more pleasant than applying Frontline to four animals...and also, less expensive.  Then, if I am feeling quite generous, I shall give some to Levon.  I resent the fact that I can eradicate the fleas at my house then unwittingly drag them home from another person's house. I thought Levon had his dog's fleas under control.  Apparently not.  Doggles appears to just have dandruff, but he is such a slick black color, its very difficult to locate a flea.  Running a flea comb over them didn't turn up any, but that doesn't mean I don't have them living in my carpet because they hatched/came from Levon's or whatever. I hate the buggers.
     The weather today is lovely.  I should go deal with leaves but there are still millions yet to fall, so I could care less. I'll just enjoy the sunshine.  The trees in our  yard have barely started to turn colors.  However, trees in our neighbors' yards are now shedding.
     I am besotted with an expensive pair of boots and am still plotting to get them as soon as other, more immediate issues iron out.  Jon needs a car so I am home more, less tired, and neither of us have to wait an hour or more before we can clock in at work....or wait to be picked up after work.  My car needs things...some more immediate than others and to be taken care of tomorrow, I suppose, as long as the mechanic can fit us in.  Our drain magically decided to drain one night...and now we can use water again.  I really think the guy is just punching a hole in a large clog thus it clogs easily when we flush....and I also am thinking we should just run vast amounts of water after one of us poos.  That might help.  Realistically we should call Roto Rooter and let them camera the pipe, then clean it...its just $200 we need to spend on the car/other things. At least I think it would be upwards of $200.
      I am so glad Jon is working 40 hours a week.  I just wish he didn't have major issues with someone he works with.  This guy says when he becomes a manager, the first thing he is going to do is fire Jon.  But, before he can become that high of a manager, he has to aspire to bullshit and won't be doing any firing.  Jon convinced one of the actual managers to let him look at the guy's full name and  home address in the computer. He is plotting his revenge...such as signing him up for loads of gay porn magazines.  Apparently he's quite religious and lives with his grandma...that should go over pretty well. Jon has been in  a great mood for the past two days because of this.  Just remember, folks, not to harass the people you work with...karma will help them find a way to get even.  I often wonder why so many people calling themselves "Christians" are such horrible human beings, the more strict their belief system the more horrible.    I think they should more ardently study that  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" platitude.  Yep. What goes around comes around, and payback is a bitch.
    I read a magazine at work the other day and was highly annoyed with several writings which were religion based.  I'm sorry, but what the hell does religion have to do with homesteading, planting a garden, and raising animals?  I had thought about subscribing to this thing until I read those writings.  I realize it was other readers writing to "instruct" other readers, but please don't preach to me, I'll continue to decide things for myself.  I think the editors should have been more aggressive.  So to the editors of "Country Side"  this is the 21st  Century, your readers are no longer predominately Christian and do not care to read about the religious exploits, dogmas, or propaganda of contributors.  I have nothing against Christians in particular, or about researching other religions, but please don't allow contributors to turn "How to Shear a Sheep" into "How my Christianity Makes me a Better Person" it is completely irrelevant.  I am not going to become a convert this way.



      

More Weird From Back Home

I don't have a lot of time this morning, due to work schedules, but about half an an hour from where I used to live in Coshocton County there is this news:

Exotic Animals (newspaper article)

It is very sad for the animals, very messed up that a private individual could "own" so many and then create a dangerous situation.  Lots of people have been criticizing the handling of the situation by cops, without taking into consideration that staff members from the Columbus Zoo and the Wilds which is sort of a Jurassic Park for rhinos and lions and such were on hand to help.  I'm sure none of those people really wanted to go out and kill a bunch of animals.

People are being ignorant and typing all sorts of things.  If you want an example here is Jack Hanna's Facebook page:

Jack Hanna

This man is neither ignorant or cruel.  He has been an asset to all of us who have ever lived in Ohio and visited the zoo.  He has helped draw in loads of tourism, and has helped to promote awareness of living things, ecosystems, and the zoo.

Dogs Don't Mind the Wind

    The horrible wind monster is blowing, and not because of any visible storm.  I think it is because it is Mid-October and the Zephyrs are reminding us that we don't always get nice pleasant warm breezes, which we would all be happy to accept.  It is windy enough to remind me that I should be looking for a tree saw so that I can rid a few of my trees of some dead branches. 
 
     The dogs don't seem to mind at all.  They have been carousing in the backyard on and off all day...the offs being marked by Emma, whom once she gets into a barking fit, doesn't easily come out of a barking fit...then I get tired of hearing "bark bark bark, bark bark bark" and let her in.  I think she is saying "STRANGER DANGER!"

     A big dead limb just fell outside the window. Good thing I have a brush pile.  One day I will burn it again, once it isn't so windy and when I don't think the neighbors will call the cops; they haven't yet.  There is no way the city would dispose of the amount of limbs I get from these four huge trees. I love the trees, reminds me of home.

      The toilet water was swishing around in the bowl, which made me all nervous, usually when it does that the drain is going to be evil and spew evil onto the floor...but I noticed it was doing that even when I wasn't running water so that can't be it.  So I looked it up online. Apparently something about the roof stack and magic and physics combine to make the toilet water dance when its especially windy.  My parent's toilets never did that, I don't think, but I could be wrong.  I wasn't as obsessed with the magic plumbing elves at their house, everything worked okay and no concentrated evil ever ended up on the floor.

     I usually don't mind the wind, but this time I'm not thrilled.  Can't it just be warm at least until January?  The furnace is running plenty, please, this is cold enough...plus, we had the loooongest winter on record last year.  The weather didn't break until late April, it seems...and I do believe I was still running the furnace nearly all the way to the end of May. Ridiculous.

Amish Gangland

      It's  been a couple of years since I moved out of Amish Ville, but relatives still in the area have been keeping me updated on all the bizarre goings-on.  Typically, Amish are pacifistic, non-violent and often odd people who do a few things I do not condone, but usually aren't much of a blight on their neighbors.  The biggest problems my family has ever had with their Amish neighbors is often they won't fix their fences so their animals escape and cause havoc, their dogs are left to run wild and often kill anything that moves, they tend to trespass while hunting, and the like.
     They are a highly productive people. YOU try farming 40-100 acres without a tractor.  They live off the land but are increasingly finding their way into businesses such as roofing, becoming contractors, selling stoves, selling tractor parts and the like.  They are the people you all when a barn needs a roof in a  hurry or you'd like to add on to your house.  Their prices are reasonable and they bring a giant crew so the job gets done in a hurry so they can then move onto the next job.  The paradox of all this industry is that they often use cellphones and computers.  Increasingly,  the newer orders of Amish are becoming techno-geeks and even have generators and some electricity in their houses, which the old order Amish still forbid.  They all still drive a horse and buggy, but the new orders have turn signals, headlights, and strobe lights to identify themselves on often dark windy and often low visibility roads while the old orders stick it out with only lanterns which drivers cannot see from more than a few feet leading to lots of terrible accidents.  The work crews hire drivers and make use of big old-style work vans.
       The things I do not condone consist of women being third class citizens, the complete shunning of family members who have decided to become "English" meaning no longer Amish, the treatment of some of their farm animals is objectionable, they seem to be immune to most of the laws that all other citizens are held to preferring to "deal with it within their own churches", alcoholism, drug use, rape and all those horrible things are not openly discussed and "dealt with in private" and they are just as rampant among the Amish as the rest of the population even though they deny it.
     All in all, its complicated.
     But, lately, some Amish have taken to violence on their fellow Amish.  I'm just going to post links to various news organizations because they write the tale better and I see no need to paraphrase.
amish on amish violence
Arrests
Radical Amish

     It is just amazing to me that the alleged leader of the radicals makes a statement saying "It's all religious, I don't know why the Sheriff has his nose in."  Terrorizing a group of people is not acceptable no matter the religion.  No one is above the law because of religion...I have often found the Amish confusing, conflicting and  complicated, but I never thought I'd see any of them terrorize  their fellow Amish because they do have strong religious beliefs such as "thou shalt not make a graven image" meaning as far as I know they are not to appear in photographs or on camera because it breaks a commandment...also confusing because several Amish appear in the two videos above by consent.  I know they had to sign a release form.  I don't suppose I will ever understand since I was not raised Amish.

Of Paper Towels and Fabric Softener

    Plumbing issues continue and I wash my hands of it.  Jon will deal with the drain guy on Monday. I am disgusted that I can't flush my own toilet every time we use it and such.  We've been showering with a wet towel over the drain so that the water drains very very slowly or not at all...its all very gross.  Jon did our laundry at his mom's house because I was wearing the same jeans for five days. Yep. Gross.  Yes, I do need to buy more jeans.  But hey, when you're used to living on $1100 a month for months and months and months you learn to do without things like lots of jeans and paper towels.
     The first things I bought when Jon got a  full check: paper towels, an extra bottle of shampoo, extra toilet paper, and (something I haven't bought since last January) fabric softener. Yep...you learn really quickly what constitutes a luxury and what isn't; having no static and soft clothes is definitely a luxury when ten dollars can be better spent on food.
     Jon has been fairly discouraged that its taken us so long to catch up despite him working 40 hours.  I had to explain to him that he's only gotten two full checks  and one partial...and that the last pay period my entire check was swallowed by the mortgage and DTE and he paid for alllllll the gas, and other things like food. Incredibly, even though he complained a lot, I don't think he truly understood that when I used to tell him we have X amount of dollars for two weeks, usually some horrible amount like 100 dollars...just how impossible a situation that can be. So I think he understands now.  Things are getting much better other than the plumbing.  My mom gifted us with a check for our one year anniversary and I am going to cash it then pay off the car insurance in full, I think.  Wasn't expecting that extra boost.  Yep. Two hundred dollars is still a lot of money to me.
      I need to get cracking on buying plastic for the windows, rubber for under the doors, caulking that annoying little wind whistle in the window room, and putting plexi back in the back door.  It's been windowless for quite a while since the day Jon forgot his keys and broke into our house. The neighbors, being reasonable people, apparently called the cops on him and he produced an ID with this address on it, so it turned out okay. So its been taped over with plastic for a long ass time. Which is okay except for when it gets cold.  We actually should invest in scads of insulation for our attic, I think.  This house holds the cold sooooo well and takes forever to feel warm.
   I am on vacation now, which is nice.  I'm sure I am going to get bored at some point. This is just my first day. I have no car, of course, Jon has it, but he's off for the next couple of days and maybe I'll be able to do laundry or even the dishes without the drain backing up into my house. Wouldn't that be a miracle?  Or even, have Ruth and Joe over for dinner, or go to Ruth and Joe's....or anything. Sounds homey.  Wish our oven worked.  Should have someone look at it.  It's probably some simple part that needs replacing, I am just not that handy.  Wish my dad lived closer, he'd know, most likely...not that I expect him to fix it, I just expect him to help ME fix it.
   I got paid yesterday, then I paid all the bills, bought dog food, rabbit food, and such and still have $300 left...wow...I almost think I'm rich.  Jon gets paid on Monday.  I think we are going to invest in a Jeep...gas will be high, but I'd love to not have to rely so much on  Jon's parents when our hours are not copacetic.  Also, I've love to go do things while Jon has the car and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Campaigning

      I've been campaigning lately to have my friend name her blob in utero "Hedgie", but since she has come up with a reasonable alternative if the blob should be a girl-blob, I will only campaign to name it "Hedgie" should it be a boy-blob because her  alternative "Stinky Manling" is less cute than "Hedgie."  Other than that, I feel like Ru needs spoiling and I shall have a bit of disposable money for once...so Ru shall have a prezzie because I love her. I just have to find the right thing to make Ru's happy.
     
      Fifty percent of my co-workers need better senses of humor.  Of course girl dummies need balloon titties...I mean, really, just play along...it makes the day go faster. Girl dummy looked depressingly like boy dummy and while not all girls have big breasts, maybe she would still have liked some tiny ones?  This was fairly mild suggestion from me; who used to suggest to Scott in Ohio that he should put on a pink hat and go pole dance in the parking lot on the slow days to lure in customers....and he would laugh and do a little sexy girl-dance, then suggest he could wear some Daisy Dukes!  I should not be surprised since this is from the same woman who found Karl's "Tote of Oppression" nickname for the stupid recovery tote offensive and apparently not at all funny.  Now, I've got Jason calling it the "tote of oppression" so the Poodle should watch out, she may just have to evolve a better sense of humor.  Or she's going to have to find a way to draw in more customers. Me being bored at work equals me thinking up evil thoughts.

      My Auntie Max's husband John died this week.  I am not above using my forceful personality to encourage my dad to help rally his sister by traveling to Florida with her for a while. She has no family down there and she's going to need family.  She and John had great times together in their short but happy marriage and my dad is in a place in his life where he has the opportunity to help out by doing whatever she needs.  She actually is the one who suggested this and I am aiming to squash any and all of his objections.  Namely, the financial ones.  Being frugal is all well and good, except my dad takes this too much to heart. Live a little dad.  It won't all be sad. You'll have some fun traveling with Auntie Max, she knows how to have a good time. You know that. When I talked to him the other night, he made no excuses, he has no good ones and he knows I can shoot them all out of the air anyway.  I am also too practical for my own good, which is why I married Jon, who is too unpractical for his own good...we are a good balance.

    Went riding on Sunday for the first time in a looooooong time. Loved it. Had soooo much fun, horse was absolutely sweet and having fun even though I thought it was weird she didn't spook at weird shadows or whatever it is that horses always spook at when they have lava in their veins.  I'd never ridden a gaited horse before and it is strange, but I am very adaptable. I can get used to most things. Getting up early, getting up late, as long as I am consistent...riding a gaited horse compared to a normal horse is less of an adjustment than that...but still less bouncy and somewhat strange.

Mixed Nuts

This week customers have
 
1. Argued over whether or not the New Hudson location sells goat's milk soap. Adamantly, confidently and quite crankily.  This man was seriously trying to pick a fight over soap. A presumably straight, bearded, man.  It was difficult not to laugh in front of him over the absurdity of the situation and I had to call in a manager. He wouldn't take my word for it...then he argued with HER.

2.  Lost a purse and somehow assumed I had seen anything.  Customer called, said she wondered if anyone had found a purse in a cart, I said no, but that I would look. I found nothing. Took her information, name, phone  number, posted a brief note on the register to call her if one is found...she showed up at the store arguing with me over whether or not I found it, what we would do with it if it were found (put it in the office safe, of course), if I had seen her with it,  yes, I did. She had like 6 different checkbooks in there and was trying to figure out which account she wanted to pay her bill with...seemed weird, which is why I even remember her at all.  She left kind of huffy.  Called back, got the Poodle, asked if we had cameras and if they'd show anything...nope, sadly we don't qualify for cameras (imagine!)  so we can all pick our asses and no one will ever see...


3.  Asked me a million questions about stoves, while I was running the cash register, then when I paged someone on the floor to help them, didn't want to talk about stoves at all.


4.  Have jumped out from behind the gun safes at others and gotten thrown out of the store.

5.  Yelled at me that the Black Oil Sunflower seeds are too pricy (even though the Spurminator has them on some sort of perma-sale of $2 off the price the other stores are offering) and that he won't be buying any more and that the birds will have to just learn to go hungry!!!! Trying to guilt-trip me into thinking wild birds can't fend for themselves is just about the most idiotic thing I have ever heard a customer say.

6.  Walked past me while looking for a man to "assist" him then came hollering that he can't find any help.  Then, when I found him the correct oil filter and gas shut-off for his fuel line, kept saying how Sears charged him 5 dollars more for the air filter I had in stock...in disbelief. Don't buy a Craftsman, people. They don't stock the parts, and there's the trick.  They ORDER them for you at a cost.

7.  Have thrown random feed bags into aisle because (and I quote) "I couldn't put them in the cart"....?????????  How does that help?   Then, when I was nice and got a cart, loaded the feed, she spent 15-20 minutes in line arguing over the prices of this and that and oh, could someone load the stall mats she'd previously paid for but not picked up, and oh, how about 3 bags of pine shavings, too....and when I'd wiped my hands free of her because I can't load stall mats by myself, poor Dale had to stuff them into some car with all that feed and the shavings.

8.  Been overly annoyed when I couldn't break a hundred dollar bill without handing them a ka-billion fives.  Really people. Really.  I told you all I had was fives.  Maybe you should take that to heart.  Sometimes, we just open a register and most of those times, all there are are FIVES!  So, maybe, when you purchase an item that totals out to $2.98, you should look for one dollar bills in your wallet, or quarters, or something.

9.  Haven't understood the difference between Scratch Grain and actual chicken feed.  I think I had to explain that to six different people this week. It is NOT food...its busy-work for chickens!!!  You will just have malnourished birds unless you let them free-range or feed them real food.

 
10.  Have tried to feed straw instead of hay to a goat because we sell straw for cheaper than we sell the hay...then wondered why the goat "didn't seem to like it."  Some people just shouldn't have animals.


    And these are the ones I REMEMBER!  I'm sure there were more.  At least  I was moderately entertained by most of these annoyances.  On another note, I got a raise. I make 4 cents shy of $9 an hour. The Spurminator tried to make this sound like big money by calling it a 3% raise.  Oh and I'm not enough of a "salesperson".  Fuck that. I don't want to be.  I'll help you, I'll be nicer than I have a right to be, considering what's going through my head, but I am not, and have never professed to be a sales person. I don't like playing "Let's Make  a Deal." Fuck all you people.  Why should you get a better deal than the next person simply because you're a cheapskate/slimeball?  I am not a corporate Nazi, I don't want to lose my  job because I know I won't find a better one, but I WILL NEVER buy into the CORPORATE ZOMBIE MINDSET they are foisting on us all.

To pee or not to pee

    It's always the little things you never appreciate; like being able to flush the toilet, run the shower, wash the dishes and run the washing machine.  And even though our drain has backed up every year that we've lived in this particular house,  I always forget what a horrible feeling it is when I wake up in the middle of the night and think "I have to pee, do I want to risk the toilet? Is it still dark enough to wander out and pee in the yard?"  Sometimes, I wish outhouses had never gone out of vogue, because then, at least when you have to poo and are pretty certain your utility room will flood with ick, you have some option besides letting the yellow mellow.
      Of course we have been guilty of letting that telltale gurgle coast for months because we didn't have the money to have the guys come with the auger, but, I'll tell you what, that seventy dollars surfaces really quickly when you realize that every time you flush or run a faucet that room is going to flood. 
     And I'd never thought I'd get into a serious argument over whether or not to wash clothes in which I was entirely against washing the clothes.  And my reasons were simple: wash the clothes, washer drain pours into sewer drain, sewer drain backs up into washing machine drain which backs up into washer.   Then the uniform will be dirtier than when it was worn for eight hours the other day.  Yay, sewage-ware!
     We tried to have the problem remedied yesterday but the guys weren't available so we had to wait until around 1 pm today. I was never so happy to see on time repair guys in my life!  I am now in an orgy of clothes washing, dish washing, and showering to try and catch up with all the work it was impossible to do, after of course, cleaning up the mess that was left behind and bleaching the floor of the utility room. 
     Now, I just have to remember that I should save seventy hours a year just to address the weird plumbing in this house.  I have no idea why we have so much trouble with the sewer drain between the house and the clean-out. We don't flush abnormal amounts of toilet paper, I've trained Jon not to pour grease down the drains, and no one dumps weird things down our toilet.  Are we just really hairy? I somehow doubt that much hair goes down the shower drain....but I suppose that's possible.

911 Anniversary

    I am tired of hearing the pompous 911 coverage of late. It has been nearly ten years. Get over it. It happened, we've moved on.  Which is exactly what we are designed to do.  People are wired to get on with their lives, its an important part of our survival mechanisms. Move on, learn, and grow. Remember, but don't dwell on the past.  The excessive "anniversary" coverage seems to me to be more a ploy for ratings rather than sincere, genuine feelings.  Why did all of America tune into the constant 24 hour a day news during that day? Because it was riveting, disastrous, and most important of all, full of genuine feeling.  So a big Fuck You to NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, and any other annoying news network I have forgotten to mention.

     Find some genuine news, report something worthwhile and risky such as the fact that I believe more families in America are going hungry than the government would like us all to believe.  Why? Because that's not the America that we want to show the world. An America whose own people are hungry because the central infrastructure is failing and we can no longer support ourselves.  Find a story like that and run with it, fear losing your own overpaid jobs and risk being a rebel because that is what being an American IS about.

     Sure, I am a heretic. I am the working poor.  I have no religion that I passionately support, much to the bane of my own family who think that I should be a Christian. Of which denomination, I know not.  My mom is kind of a Baptist and my dad is kind of a Methodist and neither practice.  I do give them credit for not immediately having their children baptized "just because" and allowing us to choose for ourselves.  Therefore I am not baptized and am surely going to hell in most eyes.

     Just as I raised lots of eyebrows within my own family 15 years ago when I decided I would rather be cremated than pumped full of chemicals, placed in makeup, then left to rot in some plot of ground that would be better used to grow food for the growing populace than to house a community of corpses.  Now, my dad is seriously considering cremation even though he was so very shocked by it when I told him so all those years ago.

     Find a group of friends and debate different ideas, you never know you may strike a chord and actually have a serious conversation instead of those superficial conversations where reality tv is a major topic of banality.  Stir the pot.  Make trouble for your local, state, or national leaders. Ask them the hard questions they don't want to answer. 

     Why is it that I work 40 hours a week and still can't feed my family?  Why do the rich just keep getting more ridiculously rich?  Why are we allowing lobbyists to keep infiltrating our government to the detriment of most Americans?  Why don't we institute term limits on the senate, the house, the supreme court, and all local governments?  Why can't a Joe Schmo run for president?  Why can't the term "public servant" actually apply?  In no way should these politicians be earning more than 9 dollars an hour.  Guess what? That's what the average American now makes. I don't care about your national averages. I want you all to realize that people are hiring in at $7.40 an hour and no matter how many hours you work a week, you can't live on that.  Politicians should have to feel desperate enough to want to apply for food stamps and wonder how they are going to afford a necessary doctor's visit.

    My bills are not ridiculous.  My mortgage is now under $400 a month. I am not drowning in credit card debt. Until Jon landed this crappy Burger King job, I would have to weigh out buying a bar of fucking soap against food and the budget to see if we could afford to shower!  This is America!

     So while the news people blather on about 911, question what the hell it is they are helping the government keep out of the eyes of its own people.

Yay for Money!

     I never thought I'd say this but I should have bought Jon a bottle of Anti-Monkey Butt powder.  Also, I never figured he would volunteer for a twelve hour shift his first day on the job at a Burger King.   That's right, he works for the King and is happy to work there after being unemployed since January.  He is going to keep looking for non-food related jobs however. For some reason, its easier to find a job if you already have one.  They hired him on the spot (Jon having gotten a reference from a buddy's girlfriend) at 2 pm and was working at 6pm. 

     He called at 1:00 am and requested a Red Bull which I was loathe to take him since Westland is not exactly just down the street, but I figured he wouldn't ask if he didn't really need it, so I went anyway.  A cop was hunting and decided to make me his prey.  He  bugged me for about 5 miles, trying to get me to do something stupid.  Pulling up close behind me, then getting into the second lane (not the turn lane) and STOPPING to see what I would do, I guess. I just kept driving.  He then continued to follow me and aggravate me.  Must be nice to have a public service job where your main objective is to piss off the public. That's a twist. But, eventually, I suppose he got tired of me, and headed for more fruitful waters like a good predator.

     I took Jon his Red Bull and went back home, no cops in tow.  By 4 am I was finally asleep, by 7 am the dogs were having a fit because Jon was home and whining about crotch rot and sweat and that he wasn't used to working a twelve hour shift in kitchen heat.  So I guess when I go back to work tomorrow I shall buy him a bottle of Anti Monkey Butt powder.  He doesn't work again until Sunday night.  I don't know what time.  A job's a job.  And we need the money. My pitiful 1200 a month doesn't get us very far; it gets us to just barely. Just barely paying all the bills, just barely buying groceries, and, if we're very lucky, just barely buying things like laundry detergent.
    
       I went back to sleep and fought the battle of the stolen blanket for another few hours then gave up.  It's impossible to keep the blanket from Jon, who is intent on hogging the whole damn thing and he's bigger than me, so I always end up losing while I'm asleep.  I am grouchy and have no caffeine. I should be doing dishes and laundry instead of playing on the internet, but I just am not in the mood and do not have the energy at the moment.  Yes, its noon, and yes, I should be awake by now, luckily, I wasn't scheduled to work today, but I really think I'll probably just end up curled up on the couch so I don't have to battle for the blanket.

blah blah blah mmmmmkay

     I was awake until 3 am last night painting a version of a drawing I did while I had insomnia years ago. I am really pleased how it turned out. It was  my first serious use of acrylic paint which has many advantages over oils. The largest advantage is the drying period is only an hour or so.  I didn't have to wait to add colors or worry about smearing my arm across the canvas.  Also, the canvas is now completely dry, no drying period of up to six weeks depending upon the thickness of the paint. The thing I missed the most about oils was the smell. Acrylics have no friendly smell. They, in fact, have pretty much NO smell.  But I am pleased with the result.  However, I do not want to sell or give away this painting. I want to keep it. Sigh.  I need to paint something I don't like and see if anyone else likes it so I can sell it. Silly me.
  
     I think my friend Ruth and I need to find a House Elf  to time-share.  I should clean cobwebs off the walls and ceiling fans, and sweep floors and all manner of things I have no intention of doing today.  This is where a House Elf would come in handy.  Also, for folding the heaps of laundry that live pretty much permanently on top of my dryer.  Oh well. If you can't deal with a moderately messy house then you don't need to come to my house, I suppose.  (Ruth, can you spawn a magical House Elf?)

      Pointless store meeting last night. Pointless.  The Fearless Leader says "We are going to be busy for the Holiday Season, blah blah blah, mmmmkay.."   The Poodle says "Feeds...they are tasty for animals...any questions?"  Spurr Girl says "Welders. We have them" Or that's what I got out of the stuff she said.  And Jason didn't get to teach heating because the Fearless Leader blathered on for over an hour about the Holiday Season, and how Big Brother is ever more present in our computer system, and how none of us can remember the mission statement and values. I, after working for the Nazis for 4 years couldn't give a fuck about the mission statement or values.  I have my own ethics and so far, so good. Fuck you Tennessee Nazis!  If you pay me $15 an hour I will learn the fucking mission statement verbatim. Pay me enough to live on and you might be amazed at the results.  I guarantee I'm not the only one who would care more.

There was a noise

     Then another noise.  Jon went to investigate. There was a small, fat Chihuahua in our backyard.  Pretty certain it belonged to our neighbors, Jon knocked on their door but they weren't home. So we kept it. Then, knocked on their door once they came home. It was their dog. And the neighbors were happy.

      Thinking things had worked out okay, we sat back down to watch television and eat smoothies. Which, I apparently don't much like. I think I'll just eat my strawberries whole, thank you very much. It's the texture I don't like...and the neighbor knocks on the front door.  Their other dog, the male one, is missing as well. We haven't seen him. Jon and the neighbor check the backyard, no sign of him. So now Jon and the neighbors are all out scouring the neighborhood for a slightly larger Chihuahua than the one we found. Not as old, either, which may be why the first one was easy to catch.  I hope they find him.

    I know, I know, I've bitched a lot about the annoying, yappy neighbor dogs but I really didn't want any harm to come to them, just for them to shut up. Fingers crossed everyone.

      I am tired of things being my fault. 

      I really don't believe that it is my fault for washing a wallet on the average of once or twice a month.  Really. My husband knows I have this problem, yet still he persists in leaving his wallet in a pair of cast off dirty pants/shorts which he leaves in a pile on the bedroom/living room floor for me to pick up and throw in the washing machine before we both run out of wearable garments.  It doesn't occur to me to check pockets simply because before I take off my pants, I take all the crap out of the pockets and put it on a table.  This seems like a reasonable argument to me, at least. I am NEVER going to consistently check pockets. It is not in my nature, the same as list-making is not in my nature, or anything particularly anal is in my nature.

      Of course, all I usually wash is an ID and a list he uses for job applications. List can be replenished, and the ID is wonderfully made out of plastic.  (Except for that one time I washed a cell phone.)  But I've been washing his stupid wallet for 3 years so this is definitely not going to change.  Today, for some reason, his mom calls and wants to know where her proof of insurance is to her car. Of course she would be the only person on the face of the earth who would hand her proof of insurance over to him when he borrowed her car once so he could go apply for jobs.  He has insurance. If he were to be pulled over, the cops would just find out if he had her permission to be driving her car. Simple as that.  I keep mine in my glove box.  Apparently, her usual storage medium is her wallet?  Weird. So guess what? I washed her proof of insurance.  It's fine. A little rumpled, but okay, legible and all that and had to listen to the "I'm tired of you washing my wallet" diatribe.  To which I used my argument: "I picked up the pile of laundry. It was large. How should I know there are wallets in it?" I knew his phone wasn't in the pants, it had been ringing and he was talking on it. So I figured I was safe.

     Otherwise, Vincent has no love of the vacuum cleaner.  Jon got to hold him whilst I cleaned his habitat and apparently bunny was shaking and scared. But, upon a zoomy inspection, room appeared no worse for the wear and bunny settled back down to do what bunnies do best, which is look cute, hop, and eat, and occasionally nibble on a card board box. 

     Emma and Doggles held their morning version of Wrestlemania, and are now both curled up next to me on the couch. So cute.  Later versions of Wrestlemania will follow with noisiness and thumping and growling.
   

The Tampon Paradox

    Am I the only woman on the planet struck immobile by the number of selections in the tampon aisle?  I stand there, amused, yet annoyed, that there are so many choices.  Name brand or store brand?  Applicator, no applicator, cardboard applicator, plastic applicator?  Deodorized or unscented?  Regular, Light, Heavy, or a mixture of the previous all in one  box? 
   
     So then, I have to think about all my past experiences with mistakenly buying tampons I didn't like for one reason or another which is so debilitating at this point, its like watching a virus-laden computer reboot.   There was the time I got the deodorant ones and wondered what that gross dime store hooker smell was all day until I realized there were tampons in my pocket and that smell was me.  And the time I realized the cotton in the Meijer brand tampons is somehow different than the cotton in the Wal Mart ones and also the cotton in the Wal Greens ones.  I am apparently allergic to the Meijer brand "cotton"and this is very annoying and one simply does not want to repeat this mistake or face questions as to why one is returning an opened box of tampons.  There was the day I had an epiphany and realized the plastic applicators for some reason come in better packaging that doesn't open while inside one's pockets, and then the annoyance of having plastic applicators being used as dog chew toys as dog grossly rummages through the trash when I leave the house.  And I never did quite get the hang of the no applicator ones. Maybe I am not that cool.  And, what if I bought that mixed box and needed less light ones and more heavy ones and then had to buy another box at some inconvenient time (its always inconvenient)?

     I have come to the realization that there is no perfect tampon, not even if  Kotex manufactured pink Hello Kitty tampons would there be perfect tampons, they'd use Eau d' cat pee on them or have dog chew toy applicators, or be made of the wrong "cotton" or fall apart in mt pockets while I'm at work, or give me some annoying itch, or maybe I'd decide I wanted  yellow  Power Ranger tampons instead of pink Hello Kitty ones and that makes a difference that month. 

   

THOSE PEOPLE

    People Are Crazy.
   And its my fault for being too nice to them.  A lost-looking old fellow (but too young for dementia) was circling the registers so of course, I opened my mouth and asked if he needed help finding anything (I was motivated less by niceness and more motivated by the fact that circling people make me nervous...they're just like carrion birds getting ready to eat a weak, helpless animal.)

    This is the strange conversation that followed.

     Crazy Fucker:  "No. But will you give me a piggy back ride?"

     Me: "Um...No...." Did I hear that right? I am deaf, am I really THAT deaf?  "I don't think I'm strong enough for that sort of thing."

     Crazy Fucker:  "Well, you could push me around in a shopping cart, couldn't you?"

     Oh, hell, I had heard that correctly. "Nope. I'm chained to the register, they don't let me wander around much."  What is wrong with this guy? I'm made more nervous all the time by his circling and wondering whether I should involve management. He's not threatening, exactly, but he's not being ha-ha-I'm-a-smartass-funny either, and he doesn't make eye contact or appear to really be speaking with me, more like he's talking to the air three feet away from my left shoulder.

   I sighed in relief when nothing further was said and he wandered toward the back of the store. I'm even more relieved when I'm told its time for my lunch.  Good, maybe the freak will exit the store within the next half an hour.  I warned Girl A not to talk to him excessively (not at all would be better advice) but mostly you have no choice.  I made a point to warn the manager. Then I tried not to think about him.

      He had exited the store by the time I reappeared but not before Spurr Girl, whom I had failed to warn by oversight, had had a run-in with him in which he seemed to put lemon drops beneath his shirt and then stood there and stared her down.  He never laughed or joked around, she said. How bizarre. 

    Perhaps these people should have some sort of visible aura surrounding them, some putrid color like puce, that everyone could see so that we will know, oh, that's a Crazy Fucker without approaching too closely or attempting to converse with them as though they are, in fact, normal human beings and and then being horribly mistaken.

   For the uninitiated (meaning those who have never worked with the public); here's a list of  "Those People"
      1. Crazy Fuckers
      2.  Rude, glued to cell phone people
      3.  The people with the HORRIBLE CHILDREN (who have no idea or don't care their children are horrible hurricanes)
      4.   The people who let their dogs pee on the pallets and don't see the turd their dog just deposited in the middle of the aisle.
       5.  Robotic people, who are people on their Bluetooths that I sometimes classify as Crazy Fuckers
       6. The people who want to throw away a dirty diaper in the trash by your cash register (Really? Really?  You put that there and I'll figure out which car is yours then throw it inside.)
       7.  The people that want to load a Pedal Boat into an S-10 in a pouring rain and refuse to get out, help, or come out from under their umbrella while us poor "slaves" get drenched to the skin. Yes, my shoes were squeaking with wet.  An S-10 is not really large enough, morons, get something larger.
     8.  The Ass Pirate who owns a Super Duty F 350 and was at the store shopping TODAY and didn't want any of the fence posts loaded into his truck, and instead required a delivery....WTF????? And we humor this guy? Why?  He's not worth it.
       9.   The CAT LADY. Yes, kind of exactly like on the Simpsons. I was once scolded that TSC was out of WHISKAS and that there are "Cat people around these parts, not just dog people!"  Also, she smells just like cat pee. Ugh.
      10.  The Self-Important. (Sorry, you are not entitled to anything just because you are having a bad day, or because you have children, or because you own a company, farm, or a hundred indentured servants, you just aren't, so please stop behaving as though the store workers are your own personal shoppers, get off your ass and walk through the store instead of strolling to the register demanding you be brought whatever it is you desire. Get over yourself. Better yet, try that shit at Wal Mart!)

Flea Paranoia

   Number One: Treated dogs to prevent fleas last week.

  Number Two:  Doggles is now itchy.

  Jon is itchy due to recent poison ivy rash, its strange this one, either he has residual steroids in his blood or he just didn't get as toxic of a dose.  Possible dog involvement.  I sprayed lovely chemicals all over all the poison ivy I could find.  Bought some expensive treatment suggested by other John. Think it kind of works. Remains to be seen.  He also is on more Benadryl.

  I resorted to Benadryl for my two hour long sneeze session earlier. Finally, no sneezing.

  Bathed both dogs, washed all laundry including dog beds and blankets....dogs are now both itchy.  Used flea shampoo. After that one horrible infestation a couple of years ago, I am terrified that I will have another horrible infestation.  But, supposedly I was also bathing them in case of poison ivy....arrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
   Flea-combed both cats, found no flea dirt or fleas.  But am still terrified of fleas.  Found nothing on Emma. Doggles wouldn't stand for the flea comb at all.  He thinks this tiny little flea comb is going to turn into a dog eating monster and chomp on him, leaving nothing but a furry corpse.  Cats love the flea comb. Guess it itches them just right.

   No idea what to do if Vincent gets fleas. Nightmare scenario. Am scared of fleas. Fleas are creepy.  Vacuuming your bed before you sleep at night--extra creepy. Get all those eggs off the bed because you are too sleepy and its too time consuming to wash everything before you go to sleep.....yep, I went through all of that.

  I hate when dogs are itchy. Makes me paranoid.

  Fleas are also expensive. I have absolutely no money to spend on fleas this time. Nada. Budget is full.  If this flea treatment doesn't work, there is no way I can buy Frontline at $50 a box for two cats and two dogs.  Why does that stuff have to be so expensive? Isn't there a generic yet?

Can I borrow a penis just for a few minutes?

  Sometimes the oil change guys apparently like to mess with my head.  At first, I found their input helpful...as in they are telling me things I may not otherwise remember...such as: you should rotate your tires every other oil change or  so and that my timing chain will need replacing at 120,000 miles. I can't remember numbers to save my life. That's a fact.
 
  Soon, however, I found their input rather annoying.  "You need new tires before winter." Yes, I know. Can I afford new tires? Sadly, no. I never bought new tires until I had the money meaning with my income tax return, but that didn't stop the guys from tsk-ing at me every time I needed an oil change. I really thought about asking if THEY would care to donate $400 so I could ride around on nice, fresh tires.

   Lately its been: "Your car is low on brake fluid, you need to have those brakes checked."  Guess what? I heeded their advice and called a guy out to check my brake system. Nothing. No clue. Everything is fine. I have a mystery disorder in which the car enjoys chugging brake fluid on occasion.  No leaks.  Nothing. Rotors...fine, pads, fine. Everything fine. Stops on a dime. I gave the man 10 bucks for his trouble, which was more than he asked for, and away he went.  I keep checking the brake fluid. Full. Every time.

    Until....
  
     I need another oil change. Then of course, he nags me about having the brakes checked. Yes, I DID have the brakes checked. Nothing was the matter.  "Well, did the guy take the wheel off?" Yes, of course he did. He was out there for half an hour checking my car. I saw him.  "Have him run a micrometer over those rotors...they need replacing..." Uh...huh....if you can't measure the roughness with your own skin then its not worth the money. Even I know this. A MICROMETER? REALLY?  Also, if its not making me chew through brake pads then nothing is wrong.

     Then he says "Your car is leaning to the right. You should have your shocks checked." I do. Ed just left. Pushed and shoved on all four shocks. Shakes his head in bewilderment and says he can't find anything wrong.  Also the car is not visibly listing. I've seen cars with bad suspensions going down the road.  Those poor, injured cars list to the left, they list to the right, they sag in the back, they sag in the front.  This is not to say that fresh shocks wouldn't perk up the yellow beast, just that I am  going to need to apply that money toward a new timing chain soon and I don't have a wonderful cash generating machine in my vicinity.  If they were broken or dangerous, I would gladly get them; hence the point of having Ed investigate.  The backs are 38 bucks a piece, the fronts, however are 80 bucks apiece.

     From now on I am going to stay home during the oil change and send someone who owns a penis; unless someone can loan me a penis for the short duration of an oil change.  Go figure, the one with the vagina was the one who figured out her car needed a serpentine belt and the one with the penis ran in freaking out that the car was making "THAT NOISE!"  Imagine, the vagina just went and turned off the air conditioner and the fan and THAT NOISE stopped, and she deduced it was a simple belt. Hence Ed replaced the belt so the defroster and air conditioner are once again safe to use and without THAT NOISE.
   
      I always knew sexism was out there, but I really didn't think it was still at this level of idiocy. My dad raised me to know that being a girl or a boy isn't the issue, its how you use your brain. More men of his generation should have been so enlightened.

     Women still only make 80 cents of every dollar a man makes yet make up 47% of the workforce. Ridiculous.