Jon told me later that this was not always so, and that he was surprised she liked me on sight. That she usually didn't like any of the boyfriends/girlfriends/friends that anyone in the family brought home. But, she liked me. I was flattered.
She got cranky in the last year. Can't blame her. Thanksgiving last year wasn't very enjoyable. But, I really couldn't blame her, because she really didn't want to host. The rest of the family seemed to think Thanksgiving just wouldn't be right if it wasn't at Grandma Helen's little house (and hey, I bet they were right). It was just too much work for her. She didn't do any of the cooking, but she sure ordered people to and fro if what they were doing weren't up to her standards. The food was tasty.
Grandma Helen became my adopted Grandma. The one grandmother I was close to, died early in Jon and I's relationship. I still had one living grandmother but it was one of those weird relationships that was strained since I never could figure out why she'd put up with my grandfather (who was never an awesome person and was a mean, mean drunk once upon a time) so I could never really respect her. So I adopted Grandma Helen. Then my remaining grandmother died and she was the only grandma left.
I am now grandmotherless. I know, I know, I am 35 and most people don't still have grandma's at my age, and some no longer have parents. There is just something that always captured my imagination about Fairy Godmothers...something magical. (I didn't know what a godmother was and didn't have one anyway so I imagined a godmother as a fairytale grandmother; besides -- Grandma DeWitt WAS a Fairy Grandmother...loved kids made all kinds of interesting magic happen when we were at her tiny trailer.)
So I was sad when Jon texted me from the hospital telling me she was gone. Then, I told him I was sorry and that she was a force of nature, a tough lady. And he texted back: "just like you." Then I cried and asked if he was okay. He replied that he was, but I knew better.
He's not okay. No one in her family is okay today. He wouldn't let me go with him to check on his folks. I didn't argue. I probably should have argued. But, some people are really private in grief...and I can respect that. I have no idea how my father in law is taking it, badly, I suspect. The man is a mystery to me, but he has a big heart. So if Jon thinks it best that I not go along, well, then, its his family he's known them longer than I have.
We miss you Grandma Helen.
I wish I had a photo of her from WWII doing her thing...and someone actually might...but, it can't be much different than this one.
No comments:
Post a Comment