Humans; they are weird.

I often wonder, because the subject rarely comes up in the light of more important things, whether I am the only wife who doesn't get asked to go to people's houses strictly because my husband thinks I'll just sit there like a lump and everyone will ask him whether I am angry or somehow otherwise dislike them? 

I find this absolutely strange. 

My husband is usually quite correct in that I don't interact well with people I don't know.  I just resent the fact that he doesn't give me the right to refuse on my own, which, knowing some of the people he hangs out with a little better by now, I will normally do.

This is usually due to lack of stimulating topics of conversation.  I just don't care how much Person A drank as a teenager or how many drugs Person B did "back in the day."  I also don't care how much Persons A and B drank last weekend.   I'm sorry, but I am 35 years old and most of Jon's friends are in their mid to late 20s and I think they are a little hung up on their teenage years.  Just give it up and become an interesting adult.  I can't imagine the conversations with these people when they hit 50 and they are still harping on their teenage years.  I'd probably have to whack them in the head with a mallet if exposed for too long. 

So, yes, I will sit quietly and drink by myself, and say nothing because I am a guest at someone's house and my Mom taught me you don't pick fights at another person's house--even if that person is clearly an idiot.  I will, however observe. 

Being quiet doesn't necessarily mean I hate a person.  It may merely mean that I have nothing to contribute to a conversation.

I find it strangely narcissistic that adults would be so offended by someone who is being quiet.  Is this some sort of leftover teenage blow to their ego?  Oh, she's quiet...I bet she HATES me.....what the fuck?  Really? 

I rarely hate anyone.  And if I do hate, its for a good reason.  I have extreme dislike, but rarely hate.  And, if I extremely dislike you I am not going to accept any kind of invitation to your house. If I am unsure whether or not I like you I may accept an invitation so I can more clearly make up my mind.  But rarely, if ever, does that result in hatred.  If I do like you, you won't get rid of me; ever, and I may still sometimes be quiet. 

I rarely drink to the point of hangover. This is not to say I don't drink vast quantities, I do, its just, as my friend Ruth tells me, I must have an efficient liver.  And when I do drink vast quantities I do not become "another" person. I don't suddenly yen to dance (which I have never wanted to do--ever--and don't quite understand why people do want to dance).  I won't flash my titties.  I won't giggle incessantly.  I can be quite an introspective drunk...which, means, yes, I will sit back, observe, and think, quietly.

So, I suppose, people are suddenly expecting me to turn into some sort of social butterfly just because they are handing me alcohol and because my husband is a surprisingly social being.

I grew up in a not really populated area and got used to being the weird outcast who didn't actually find, upon observation, that I greatly enjoyed 95 percent of the population.  I enjoyed the remaining 5 percent...and I find the numbers still seem to hold true even in a more populous environment. 

I know this is seemingly random. What brought it up is that my husband went to his old friend L's house last night. Fine. I have no problem with that. I even like L even though he is a schizoprenic. Jon left last night saying he wouldn't be gone too long, it depended on the mood L was in.  And I said fine.  Then Jon made a remark about me usually whining about him going out. (Sometimes I complain because we see each other for short times due to work schedules and his going out can usually mean he is gone from 6 pm until 8 am...no joke.)  I told him that since I wasn't invited I wasn't going to complain. 

This put him on the defensive for some reason.

I wasn't invited to my knowledge.  I have met L maybe twice and if he wanted to invite me, he would have...and, hell, maybe he did and this is why Jon went all defensive because he thought I would ruin his nice time. I don't know.  L is weird.  He is used to other people being weird.  I had that impression when I met him.  I don't think I would offend his sense of "normal." And I don't think I have. 

I really think that is what all this bullshit it about. I push other people's ideas of "normal" to the limit and then they have all these weird teenage emotions still floating around in their heads which makes them think someone quietly drinking and observing must therefore HATE them.

Strange. But since I have never taken any classes in human behavior, maybe its not so strange.  I just have my own observations.

I'd much rather study the behaviors of other animals.