I am not sure how I feel about life right now. Strange things have been happening all week. For instance a friend of Jon's father told us our sewer pipe was broken at the city line. We borrowed some money from the credit union and got a second opinion. The second opinion says that its not broken and we are fine. But, since we borrowed money and basically will owe the interest we are going to repair the water lines. So living in the house for three years with a trickle of cold water in the kitchen sink, only hot water for the washing machine, and only hot water for the shower, that will be interesting. I just have to figure out what day this guy is coming out and unless its going to be on my day off I will have to arrange for Ruth to maybe come and hang out at the house.
So I've managed four loads of laundry and still need to wash the bedding. And the dishes. I also think I need to buy crappy toilet paper. Somehow the pipe always plugs in the same place. I think Jon is using wayyyy too much toilet paper. It's my only explanation. So weird. We don't flush anything down there that isn't the usual. No tampons...no weird objects. I just don't understand why its been such an issue the past six months or so.
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I think Jon's mother needs a therapist. He said she texted him this week and told him that she was going to miss a mortgage payment but that it was okay because God would somehow magically help them pay the bills. (She's donated $1,000 to some televangelist.) I fail to see how her donating $1,000 that she needs to pay her bills will buy God's favor. I don't believe in God but I especially don't believe you could bribe God with money if there was a God. I really think she's gone mental.
So Jon took the money he had saved for a new pair of shoes (the ones he is wearing have holes in the soles...and they are his only shoes) and took his Dad out to a bar where apparently male-bonding time was spent as they drank beer and ate dinner and his Dad wasted $80 on a poker machine trying to win back some of the money that she donated.
I think she flipped when her mother in law died. I really do. No one in this dysfunctional family has mourned properly as far as I am concerned...they've ignored it...they've pushed it aside, they've tried to do all the everyday things that normal people do and they're failing radically. Jon's dad hasn't been the same at all either. I should probably go talk to her. But I don't want to. I'm not going to be able to help. I just listen to her complain about her life and having no money and that her car is going to die and how Bob treats her...and how her house isn't the way she wants....and am powerless to change it FOR her. SHE has the power. Not ME.
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I have a friend with similar marital issues. Her self-esteem is just so horrifically low that she allows her husband to make her feel insignificant and ugly. Far from it. She's quite attractive and has a fun, interesting personality. I love her a lot.
I have been trying to alter her thought processes by introducing somewhat radical (to her) ideas. Such as weighing herself every morning isn't healthy because it makes her feel fat so she should just throw away the scale and just try to eat healthy and BE healthy. Weight is just a number, like age. It only matters if you let it. I explained that I don't own a scale because I had issues with it myself as a teenager.
Her husband tells her she's fat and that he wants her to be thin, like when they met. Guess its no secret that I don't like him. Conditional love is for shallow, useless people. I think she could do better but since she's been married to him for 16 years its a habit and she's frightened of change.
I tried explaining that life is short. If something is making her miserable, than it shouldn't be in her life. Such as me being angry at Jon for using a million water glasses when one washed out would do, so I broke lots of them and got rid of lots of dishes because instead of washing them, he'd just dirty EVERY DISH, PAN, and BOWL we owned and I would end up resentful and angry because I'd have to wash them all. I got it down to the basics and that's what I can live with and he, after his initial anger, tried suggesting this approach to his parents who apparently have the same problem because it worked for us!
I'll see what she makes of it. She's clearly been brain-washed by mainstream America. I really hope my eccentricity rubs off, if only a little.
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And then there is my brain chemistry. I have no idea what has been going on up there. But I feel like a train wreck. I want to laugh, cry, and yell angrily all within the space of a few minutes. It is NOT PMS this time. I don't know what it is. It's miserable. It's also brought my insomnia back which is exacerbating the problem. Sleeping 4-5 hours a night just doesn't cut it. I want to sleep. I just can't for various reasons including mind on overdrive, clogged sinuses, headaches and the like.
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Another one of the long-term residents of our neighborhood moved away. Why? Because they have money and more and more poor people are moving in. Undesirables. Crime on the rise. I can't blame them, I just envy them. I want to do the same thing. Just don't know how in the hell we'll ever afford it.
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On the upside we did meet our friends Ruth and Joe for lunch at a fantastic Indian restrurant that was previously unknown to us. The food was delicious and the place was packed. But no one minded waiting their turns for a table.
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Work has been atrocious. I hate people. I have to really work to not make snarky comments at the customers. I so want to ask the bitchy, pony tailed customer if loosening her pony tail improves her mood because I think its such a tight pony tail that it makes her a bitch. I want to ask people with horrible children if natural selection wouldn't be a good option for them since they are letting them run wild anyway. I want to ask that constantly drunk man with the tiny dog in his arms if its easier to read packages BEFORE he's so trashed the words swim and to please not breathe in my personal space. There are a thousand things I'd love to do to get fired....only I can't afford to be fired.
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