I knew there was trouble the instant we arrived at the mother in laws...no available workspace in which to prepare food. Ummm? What? We piled crap everywhere to make room and then had to take the garbage out. Can't really blame her, she worked until 2 am then got up and cleaned the house...vacuuming and such.
And then we had to cook.
What a horrible, waste of a day. Six hours later, I am home.
Just for starters, if attending a family event, don't ask questions if you aren't prepared to handle the answers. One of the attendees was Jon's cousin Whatsername. She decided to ask probing questions after noticing that I was not fawning over her not so cute walking baby. In fact, I was looking over its head wondering why the hell these people were blocking my view of Looney Tunes which was on the television because I had no interest in them at all, having met them before and found them boring.
Whatsername asked why we don't have kids.
I said it was because I hate them.
She was taken aback, but just had to keep digging away. "Well, why?"
"I don't know," I said. "I just always have. Even when I was a kid myself." Feeling insulted, I added, "I'd rather blow my own brains out than raise a poo making spawn that is basically a human parasite for at least 18 years."
I know this struck a nerve particularly because Whatsername might just have turned 18. She has an 18 month old. Dropped out of high school. Is sponging off her parents and the State of Michigan and so is her Baby Daddy. Yep. They are BOTH unemployed spongers that are getting money for bringing a life into the world accidentally. I already knew the back story here...figured I may as well insult her since she'd already insulted me.
Nosy bitch.
And still, this wasn't enough.
Whatsername asked, "Do you have siblings that have children?"
"Oh yes," I said, "my brother now has a 6 or 7 month old. He's dead to me now. I probably won't really see him again until its moved out of their house." I was quiet for a moment before adding, "he really didn't want kids either, you see...but now he has one. But at least now that he has one, he takes care of it." (Not all of this is exactly the truth, but ask rude questions, get lies.)
Whatsername finally decided she'd had enough and left me alone. I kind of wondered where she went because its a small house and there was nowhere to run or I'd have run away long before...just to be less crowded.
What she did was run to Jon and tell him that I hate kids like this was broadcast news. He's known me for five years. Three years before we got married and two years since. He knew I didn't like kids for three years before our wedding. He thought it an odd statement until I told him she'd pissed me off and what I'd been saying to her. Then he laughed and said he didn't care what I said to "that skank."
We left all our stuff there. Jon says he'll get it tomorrow. It's the first holiday meal that I've gone home hungry. I made soup. It was the only edible thing. Green bean casserole: wheat. Stuffing: more wheat. Pies: wheat, wheat, wheat. Mashed potatoes: not wheat, but I don't like them really. Turkey, yuck. Ham, kind of yuck, but better than turkey...just depends who is cutting off the gross fatty bits. So I am still hungry. Rather be hungry than pissed off all damn day. I couldn't get drunk enough to NOT be angry and claustrophic. I really think the anger voids the alcohol's effectiveness.
The only people I could stand: Jon, his sister's family, and Jon's parents, and a guy named Tommy. Everyone else could fall off the face of the earth and the world would probably be a better place. I am not doing this next year. No amount of guilt, no amount of tears is getting me to go through this charade again. I'd rather stay home, eat a gluten free pizza, or whatever...and at least enjoy the day.
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