Picture this, quirky, usually fairly rational people in a room, you've known three of them most of your life, and one for about five years. Enter a baby, four months old, drooling, cranky, stubborn and refusing to sleep because there are too many people to stare at. See the usually rational people suddenly not be able to carry on an adult conversation without suddenly lapsing into "ah, poor thing!" As if there were something wrong with the perfectly healthy baby other than she is sleepy. It makes for heaps of weird.
This happened to me when I went to visit my parents, who are, first time grandparents because I would rather perform a self-hysterectomy than have a screaming, pooping. drooling little drunk person in my house at all times. My brother was perhaps the most logical of the bunch. My sister in law has completely lost her mind. Staring at the kid with bug-eyes and talking to it as though she were "singing" along to a death metal song. I use the term "singing" quite loosely. Death metal is all about gutteral devil-sounding voices.
It was as though I'd fallen through the looking glass.
My dog, Emma, was quite terrified of the voice that made the baby laugh. I am quite sure that this baby is going to think people talking happily will be the worst thing ever--or that its mother is secretly professional wrestler John Cena...I don't know how to spell his name and I don't particularly care.
Just when I thought things couldn't become MORE weird, I came back from a bathroom break to discover the conversation had turned to my sister in law wanting to get the baby's ears pierced. What if she doesn't want her ears pierced? At least let her get old enough to decide on her own. My brother was particularly angry looking about the announcement. Apparently this had not been discussed before. Hopefully he can be the voice of reason and stop this nonsense.
I really don't want my niece being included in an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras.
Maybe next time I go visit my parents, we'll be discussing the merits of tramp stamps for toddlers.
Otherwise, it was a nice trip home. The dogs had happy run time and we got to get stuffed on Mom's cooking, and the local Mexican restaurant, which we miss. We didn't get to eat at our favorite pizza shop because it doesn't open on Mondays and it doesn't usually open until 4 pm and we needed to be heading back by then.
Jon started his new job at General Bearing yesterday. It's five miles from our house, which is good since he is driving that big V6...so not only will he be making more money, we will be spending less on gas. He says that his job is easy, could get boring, but that his employers were treating him as an actual person!!!! Never got that at Burger King. I know I much prefer the smell of his clothes. They just smell like grease, oil, and metal lubricant. Much much better than old burgers, stale fries and ass sweat. All in all, he had no real complaints yet. I'm sure that will change but since he is getting lots of overtime and steady hours that should help outweigh whatever the complaints will be.
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