Zombie Snacks

Still being sick, which I find very annoying; I have had loads of time to do vast quantities of internet searching.  And, since Ruth was at U of M having a baby after being preggo forever...and various relatives have been posting annoying and multiple photos of drooling, snotty or otherwise, ucky babies, I decided to type "baby zombie snacks" into the all-knowing entity we call Google.

Apparently I am not the first person to view babies as something to toss at a zombie to make a clean escape....

There are various bibs, onesies and other apparel that proudly proclaim that your child is a zombie snack, just in case, I suppose, zombies can actually still read.  Might come in handy, labeling food for the zombies.  There would be less lurching about and then moaning in disappointment.  I know if I were a zombie, I'd hate to have run/lurched thirty feet or more to discover that tasty morsel I'd seen from afar was actually a lamp post and not a toddler; so much the easier if it was labeled "Zombie Snack."

                                         Mmmmmmm.....tastes like chicken

Also, it has never been addressed just how much meat a zombie must eat to survive. We all just assume they are ravenous bottomless pits, but at some point, even a zombie must be physically unable to gulp down more brains.  So how do we know that babies aren't just merely snacks and not an entire meal?  I mean the average baby weighs 7-8 pounds...that's one hell of a lot of protein and some tasty marrow bone to chew.

And, since we're labeling food for zombies, how about a nutritional analysis?

                                                    How many calories per brain?


Day Care could become the zombie version of McDonald's.  Lurch to the window, pick a likely looking meal, gulp it down and then back to lurching, scratching and moaning in front of the television without even firing up an oven. Now, that's convenience!