Reasons Never to say Life is Boring

     1. Suddenly there will be a horrible rash. 
Many hours will be dedicated to: doctors, spending money on doctors, bandages, band aids, tape, steroids, and the like. There will be several instances of calling in late to work to help wrap appendages. The recipient of all this care and time will be less grateful as the days go by. So far, the horrible rash has lasted over a week. He is not a patient with an abundance of patience.
     2.  People will just up and quit their jobs and leave their co workers hanging so that the shift is crazy busy for the remaining two people. 
What happened to people working their shift then quitting at the end of it?  This is why people who work in retail drink too much. 
    3. Customers will needlessly be assholes. 
Which is why, after I explain 6 times to a phone customer that a certain model of weed eater has attachments available, but it does NOT come with the attachments and they must be ordered at extra cost and shipping, and said customer continues to argue; I told him I do not have it in stock but a less competent staff at a larger store does and sent him there. Good luck, asshole, deal with incompetence and driver further than you have to.  Be nice to the salespeople. Don't argue. Don't think that because I'm female that I know nothing. We will fuck with you. Yet another reason people in retail drink too much.
     4.  Your husband will go postal because somehow his phone keeps falling under the car seat while he's driving. 
 I dunno why he can't put the damn thing in the cup holder like a normal person. Then will drive angry, come home angry, and say "hey, I may or not have caused an accident. People were driving like fuckers." Then I say, "hey, what happened?" And the answer is..."I'm not sure. I think I didn't yield for long enough and the guy behind me had to slam on his brakes and then the guy behind him maybe hit him?"  To me this says, you did not really cause the accident. People were following too closely. But, hell, that got my pulse going.
    5. Your car will need new parts just like every other car with 100,000 miles on it, but suddenly you will need a serpentine belt that is so small that the guy at the parts store even looks at it askance.
It looks like a 5/8 inch lawnmower belt. No joke.  Parts counter guy double checks the numbers and you go home with a lawnmower belt.
   6.   Your dog will get into the grease you dumped outside because its bad for the ancient plumbing in your house and you will get as much of a bath as he does.
He, however, will not be grateful that you saved him from the grease.  He just thinks its yummy and that soap smells bad.
  7.  You will write a blog that sounds like a crummy country song and your husband will read it over your shoulder as you stare at him apprehensively. 
Luckily, mine has a great sense of humor and finds this funny.