The Tampon Paradox

    Am I the only woman on the planet struck immobile by the number of selections in the tampon aisle?  I stand there, amused, yet annoyed, that there are so many choices.  Name brand or store brand?  Applicator, no applicator, cardboard applicator, plastic applicator?  Deodorized or unscented?  Regular, Light, Heavy, or a mixture of the previous all in one  box? 
   
     So then, I have to think about all my past experiences with mistakenly buying tampons I didn't like for one reason or another which is so debilitating at this point, its like watching a virus-laden computer reboot.   There was the time I got the deodorant ones and wondered what that gross dime store hooker smell was all day until I realized there were tampons in my pocket and that smell was me.  And the time I realized the cotton in the Meijer brand tampons is somehow different than the cotton in the Wal Mart ones and also the cotton in the Wal Greens ones.  I am apparently allergic to the Meijer brand "cotton"and this is very annoying and one simply does not want to repeat this mistake or face questions as to why one is returning an opened box of tampons.  There was the day I had an epiphany and realized the plastic applicators for some reason come in better packaging that doesn't open while inside one's pockets, and then the annoyance of having plastic applicators being used as dog chew toys as dog grossly rummages through the trash when I leave the house.  And I never did quite get the hang of the no applicator ones. Maybe I am not that cool.  And, what if I bought that mixed box and needed less light ones and more heavy ones and then had to buy another box at some inconvenient time (its always inconvenient)?

     I have come to the realization that there is no perfect tampon, not even if  Kotex manufactured pink Hello Kitty tampons would there be perfect tampons, they'd use Eau d' cat pee on them or have dog chew toy applicators, or be made of the wrong "cotton" or fall apart in mt pockets while I'm at work, or give me some annoying itch, or maybe I'd decide I wanted  yellow  Power Ranger tampons instead of pink Hello Kitty ones and that makes a difference that month.