Day of Purgatory: Part the Third

Black Friday. I always work it. 

Staggeringly different this year. No crowds, at least not really.  Periods of time being able to walk away from the register. Hardly ran out of anything so no need to worry about rain checks.  Periods of time only running one register.  Boring. Employees were sent HOME....that's NEVER happened before.

Oh, don't get me wrong. $47,000 worth of business in one day never happens at that store. But we were busier last year and people didn't even know the store was there.  Our store plan was $68,000.  Meaning, the company projected that it would at least be as busy as last year with hopes to do more business.

Why did it fail?

The ad. It's boring.  It has been virtually the same for the five years I have worked for the company. It really never changes.  How many chainsaws, leather boots, gun safes, and air compressors does one person really need over that period of time?  The biggest business we did was for things that people need or want every day. Such as black oil sunflower seed and softener salt.  I think if the company offered more sales on things like horse, chicken and dog feed, we'd have done much better. People need those things.  Feeds are high right now.

Our marketing department.  The ads are so globbed together and unexciting that hell, just from looking at it, I'm bored. I can't imagine a customer being excited over it. 

Our buyers.  There is clothing in the ad...but the buyers who buy the clothing must be blind.  I can't imagine wearing most of it. Oh, the men's clothing is fine. It's the  women's clothing. It is geared to ladies of a certain age and ten year olds.  Since most of the female population is neither....a huge chunk of the market is missing. I know I wouldn't buy a damn thing in that clothing department right now unless it was a Carhartt hoodie or something like that.  The fabrics are also at fault...they are so thin that if you get cold, everyone will know...and the fit is at fault...manufactured in China (like every thing is now) where boob sizes must be smaller, the sleeves start too close too the shoulder and the boobs have no room, making the smallest person with any boobs at all look dumpy.

The shift to major retailers being open Thanksgiving night.  By the time we opened Friday morning at 6 am...and did NO business until 7 am, everyone was either sleeping or had spent all their money. 

I also wonder about the ads getting mailed out on time.  At our particular location, we have had at least 100 customers on prior ads come in complaining that the ad wasn't in their mailbox until it had ended. My previous manager (we are currently manager-less)  honored the ad to make them happy.  I believe this could be the case again...but could be wrong since a friend whose daughter works at a different location also said it was slow there...and that store is easily 100 percent busier on a normal day than ours.

The store was quite immaculate when we left last night. And we left nearly an hour earlier than we were supposed to leave. That has never ever happened. On a proper Black Friday, the store will be thrashed for at least a week before it is borderline back in shape, because from here on out, TSC basically does an ad per week to get rid of the Christmas items hopefully before they go to ridiculous clearance prices.

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On another note, I am told we will now be borrowing an ASM from Whitmore Lake until the first of the year.  First it was for a week, then until the first of December, and now, until January.  I kind of think he is going to be our manager.  Sounds like the TSC way...sneak someone in, get them and us used to the situation and then, make the announcement.  I don't really care.  He's okay, doesn't pick on me, but then, I do my job...but others have taken up arms against him because he gets after them to work hard.  I have tried explaining that its because he worked with Cindy who worked with Janet and so they both were perfectionist taskmasters...and that is how the job is supposed to be done.  He just is rubbing people the wrong way right now because he's going about it incorrectly.  Oh well. Not my problem.  I have no problem with it...I also worked with Janet and Cindy. I'm used to it.

Day of Purgatory: Part the Second

I knew there was trouble the instant we arrived at the mother in laws...no available workspace in which to prepare food. Ummm?  What?  We piled crap everywhere to make room and then had to take the garbage out.  Can't really blame her, she worked until 2 am then got up and cleaned the house...vacuuming and such.
And then we had to cook.

What a horrible, waste of a day.  Six hours later, I am home.

Just for starters, if attending a family event, don't ask questions if you aren't prepared to handle the answers.  One of the attendees was Jon's cousin Whatsername.  She decided to ask probing questions after noticing that I was not fawning over her not so cute walking baby. In fact, I was looking over its head wondering why the hell these people were blocking my view of Looney Tunes which was on the television because I had no interest in them at all, having met them before and found them boring.

Whatsername asked why we don't have kids.

I said it was because I hate them.

She was taken aback, but just had to keep digging away. "Well, why?"

"I don't know," I said. "I just always have. Even when I was a kid myself." Feeling insulted, I added, "I'd rather blow my own brains out than raise a poo making spawn that is basically a human parasite for at least 18 years."

I know this struck a nerve particularly because Whatsername might just have turned 18. She has an 18 month old.  Dropped out of high school. Is sponging off her parents and the State of Michigan and so is her Baby Daddy. Yep. They are BOTH unemployed spongers that are getting money for bringing a life into the world accidentally.  I already knew the back story here...figured I may as well insult her since she'd already insulted me.

Nosy bitch.

And still, this wasn't enough.

Whatsername  asked, "Do you have siblings that have children?"

"Oh yes," I said, "my brother now has a 6 or 7 month old.  He's dead to me now. I probably won't really see him again until its moved out of their house."  I was quiet for a moment before adding, "he really didn't want kids either, you see...but now he has one.  But  at least now that he has one, he takes care of it." (Not all of this is exactly the truth, but ask rude questions, get lies.)

Whatsername finally decided she'd had enough and left me alone. I kind of wondered where she went because its a small house and there was nowhere to run or I'd have run away long before...just to be less crowded.

What she did was run to Jon and tell him that I hate kids like this was broadcast news.  He's known me for five years. Three years before we got married and two years since.  He knew I didn't like kids for three years before our wedding.  He thought it an odd statement until I told him she'd pissed me off and what I'd been saying to her. Then he laughed and said he didn't care what I said to "that skank."

We left all our stuff there. Jon says he'll get it tomorrow.  It's the first holiday meal that I've gone home hungry.  I made soup.  It was the only edible thing.  Green bean casserole: wheat. Stuffing: more wheat. Pies: wheat, wheat, wheat. Mashed potatoes: not wheat, but I don't like them really. Turkey, yuck. Ham, kind of  yuck, but better than turkey...just depends who is cutting off the gross fatty bits.  So I am still hungry. Rather be hungry than pissed off all damn day.  I couldn't get drunk enough to NOT be angry and claustrophic.  I really think the anger voids the alcohol's effectiveness.

The only people I could stand: Jon, his sister's family, and Jon's parents, and a guy named Tommy. Everyone else could fall off the face of the earth and the world would probably be a better place. I am not doing this next year. No amount of guilt, no amount of tears is getting me to go through this charade again. I'd rather stay home, eat a gluten free pizza, or whatever...and at least enjoy the day.

Day of Purgatory: Part the First

So far on this day of purgatory I have only managed three hours of sleep in between nightmares of recovering the store and front facing the store. For those of you who don't know what this means, it means eternally cleaning up after slobs who will hopefully buy things and spend money, but whose sole joy in life seems to be relocating objects and in general thrashing the store instead of buying things. Dreaming about work annoyed me enough that I was unable to return to sleep.

And then, when I decided, at 6 am, that I would like to try to go back to sleep...Fat Kitty decided to yowl for breakfast. She never gets fed until at least 8 or 9...or 10 at the latest so I am not sure why she randomly decided that she must sporadically yowl for two hours while I am trying to sleep on my day off.

Vincent the Bunny then decided it was time for his morning laps and bunny play time.  Usually I am able to sleep through this, since he is the quietest furry friend in the house but with all the yowling...um, no.

Then it started, snores that could be heard on the next block. I tried rolling Jon over, poking and prodding him, but to no avail. The snoring would not stop.

Doggles decided to whine at me because he wanted out. Oh, no, now the damn dogs are in on the conspiracy!

So I gave up.  I got up, let the dogs out. Fed the cats at a normal time. And wondered why all the things were so annoying this morning.

Then I remembered today was Thanksgiving.  Yep.  It's a holiday I seldom enjoy, if ever. Full of have-tos and grouchy bloated people.  The day where I am usually only thankful for leaving the meal at a place I didn't want to go but was somehow tricked by guilt and the promise of free food and so got myself into the hum-drum situation in the first place.

And, yet again, I have been guilted into a dinner at a place where I don't want to spend more than an hour.  That should always be my first clue.  Just say no to dinners at places that make you uncomfortable.  Yes, I know its dinner...and free food...but just say no. But the mother in law crying about how its her birthday AND Thanksgiving made me agree.  Did I mention she has recently become mentally unstable?  So, I am not much looking forward to any of the events that will be happening today.

This will be Jon's family's first Thanksgiving without their Mom/Mother-in-law/Aunt/Grandma Helen.  And Jon's dad is cooking....Jon is worried about that. He said he's going to have to help, but he's still sleeping. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

To be Continued after the dinner....